Toonpet Show Fanfiction 9

As our story begin, we see Lumpus and Slinkman in their usual balcony, with the banana slug frowning while glancing at the playbill.

Slinkman: Sir, can't believe some of the acts they got on this show. Check this out: "Mercury Pigeon and his Kung-Fu Delivery Pigeons"!

Lumpus: Ick! And we thought Gir and his boomerang fish were terrible!

Slinkman: (grins) Remember when we were teenagers? We had Oswald the Rabbit...."Fun in Black and White"....

Lumpus: As well as Wallace and his singing dog Gromit...Mr. Toad...

The audience laughs as Slinkman glares.

Slinkman: "Mr. Toad"? What, you're going to tell me that you remember Gumby?

Lumpus: Hey, I prefer Mr. Toad to him: Used to juggle his buddies Mole and Ratty, much to their annoyance. Quite a turn, he was....

Slinkman: Still, do you know who was my biggest favorite of all time? The Great Annin and the Fandango Ogres.

Lumpus: (grins) Great Annin! Now there's an act!

Slinkman: You could say that again, sir.

Slinkman ponders a bit as he continues.

Slinkman: Funny, that Annin woman never seemed to age a day.

Lumpus: Eh, probably went through 20 Annins. Pretty sure those ogres guys from Other World are the same guys, of course. They seemed to get more and more decrepit as the years went by.

Slinkman: Eh, remembered that time when Annin try to knock down that Goku kid, almost knock his head clean off with her growing big and her hair moving around. Never figured out how they did that.

Lumpus: Superb stagecraft! Man, what artists, what larks, what genius!

The audience laughs a bit as Slinkman nods.

Slinkman: Yeah...makes me wonder what happened to them.

****************

"Toonpet Mash Part 2: That's A Wrap"

The hole opened as Danny came out and spoke to the audience.

Danny: It's the Toonpet Show! Whah!

The audience cheered for him. The sign with Danny lifted up as the band began playing the music. The curtain pulled up, revealing some pillars while Charlie played the piano and Coach Z tooted his horn. Things are beginning to happen. Five Toonpets came out then they pointed to the upper arches, where the Toonpet ladies and Imaginary Friends were walking backwards and singing.

Lady Toonpets: (singing) It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Toonpets on the Toonpet Show tonight.

On "It's time to meet", they peeked out of the arches. At the other side, the male Toonpets danced sideways and sang.

Male Toonets: (singing) It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to get things started

Danny was sitting on the floor of the stage and sang.

Danny: (singing) It's time we get things started

As they all sang, the camera pulled back as it revealed each Toonpet on arches.

All: (singing) On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Toonpetational
This is what we call the Toonpet Show!

Then, the sign saying "The Toonpet Show" came down. Inside the hole, Fuzzy hold a pan and pound it, making the audience laughs.

******************

In the backstage area, activity is happening once more. Some of the Toonpets were "walking like Egyptians", Timmy look uneasily at a Totodile glaring at him and Strong Mad is chewing on a pyramid. Danny meanwhile is talking to an old man named Grandpa Gohan.

Danny: Mr. Gohan, I feel it only fair to warn your clients that our rates are on the, well...cheap side.

Grandpa Gohan: (grins) That's all right, little man. Their act is on the cheap side!

The audience laughs as Jonny seem to be listening to a sarcophagus.

Jonny: Plank thought he heard something in here.

Boy toon: Which is?

Jonny: Wrap music!

The audience laughs as we see two ogres putting makeup on one another. A woman named Annin grins as she spoke to June.

Annin: Why, yes...I used to have a hypnotism act and find suggestible people, making them think, oh, I don't know...that they looked old or something.

June: (Dazed) Look...old...yeah...

The audience laughs as Danny speaks with Grandpa Gohan some more.

Grandpa Gohan: Anyway, when I say cheap, I mean cheap when you take into account their expensive experience, skill, reputation and what strings we have to pull to perform in the living world every once in a while.

Danny: You mean hideously expensive, right?

Grandpa Gohan: (nods) That's one way of pulling it, my boy.

Danny: Okay, Grandpa Gohan. How about our basic rate plus top billing plus our second-best dressing room?

Grandpa Gohan: (pondering) Hmmmmm....

The halfa hold up a Togepi as he continues.

Danny: Plus free use of a Togepi?

Togepi: Piiiiii!

Grandpa Gohan: (grins) Now you're talking, my boy!

The audience laughs as June came up to Danny, the Asian girl is looking worried.

June: Err, Danny, dear...Annin's calm, reasonable yet hypnotic remarks have got me worried. Tell me the truth, do you see any wrinkles on my face?

Danny: (sweatdrop) Un, err....well...(points) Look, over there!

June looks puzzled as she turns around with Danny dashing off. THe audience laughs at this. The Asian girl glance to Jonny who is speaking with Delete.

Jonny: So Plank and I've got a whole new act built around an old Other World theme, something new!

Delete: Well, that's swell.

June: (concerned) Say, Jonny, quick question. Can you look at my face and tell me what's the first thing that pops into your mind? Tell me the truth.

Jonny: Juniper Lee...what would you say to a whole new wrinkle?

Suddenly we see Jonny getting punch across the room, making Delete and Julayla yelps upon seeing this. As the audience laughs, the droid glance at his sister nervously who dust her hands.

June: Hey, I asked him to tell me the truth. Didn't say I have to like it.

************

Act 1: And now Jonny 2x4 and Plank!

The usual music for Jonny's act is heard playing as the groaning boy and his board came on stage.

Jonny: Ouch...I mean, hiya hiya hiya! Okay, this Ancient Other Worldian goes walking in the park with his nephew and as guy says to the nephew, "Is that your dad?" And the nephew says, "No, he's my ankh-le!" Wocka, wocka!

The audience laughs a bit while two familiar hecklers spoke.

Slinkman: Sorry, but we've got an Ancient Other Worldian action for you...

Lumpus: Tut, tut! (laughing) Ho ho ho!

Jonny: (sweatdrop) Right, okay...this mummy came to life and started frightening folks, but one guy stood up to him and said, "I'm not scarab-ed of you!" Aa-aah!

Slinkman: (frowns) Boo, boooo! What you're giving is like an Other Worldian who's decayed!

Lumpus: Right, as in a rotten set! (laughing) Ho ho ho!

The audience laughs as Jonny looks down while preparing to leave the stage.

Jonny: Well, gee...I guess Plank and Is hould get off to make way for the Great Annin and the Fandango Ogres...well, good night....

The hecklers look shocked upon hearing what Jonny said.

Slinkman: Wait, did you hear that, sir?! Annin is on the show tonight!

Lumpus: (amazed) Wow, looks like tonight's show isn't going to be a big disaster after all! Perhaps we owe the fuzz boy an apology!

The two hecklers quickly stop Jonny as Slinkman spoke.

Slinkman: Hey, kid, wait! We didn't realize who you were warming up for! Sorry, didn't mean to give you a hard time!

Lumpus: After all....sarcophagism is the lowest form of wit!

***************

Backstage, Annin grins as Grandpa Gohan is helping her get into the costume.

Grandpa Gohan: Now don't forget, Annin, try not to get the boys all excited, you know how they're liable to go to pieces.

Annin: (grins) Come on, Gohan, how many years that I have been doing this act?

Grandpa Gohan: Eh, don't remind me!

Annin saw Jonny, with a steak over his eye, coming in.

Annin: Ah, I thought you handled those two gentlemen most handsomely, Mr. 2x4!

Jonny: "Gentlemen"? What "gentlemen?!

The audience laughs as Annin spoke.

Annin: Once the show is over, you got to introduce us.

Grandpa Gohan: (chuckles) Tsk, you're a caution, Annin...mark my words.

We see a concerned June talking to the bandaged ogres as she speak.

June: Hey pal, I need an honest opinion. Would you like to wake up, check out a mirror and see these wrinkles looking back at...

However June notice the ogres just staring and mouthing a bit. The audience laughs as the girl frowns while leaving.

June: Forget it.

The ogres shrug a bit as we see Fuzzy speaking to some while holding a bag of bandages.

Fuzzy: Listen, guys, yew done need any fresh bandages, yew should know 'dat I always got an ample supply, 'kay? Wacme Bandages (TM) gave me just valued customer status!

The audience laughs.

*************

Act 2: In Praise Of Older Toons

The audience applaud as we see Annin sitting on the throne in an Egyptian like setting with an ogre guard on each side. As music begins to play. Annin grins as she sings.

Annin: (singing) It's true waht they say about beauty...
It comes and it goes at such speed.
Your youth is the blink of an eyelid;
THe rest of your, going to seed.

But don't let yourself be discouraged!
There's life in the older ones still!
For though they won't stay young forever...

The woman grins as she pull an ogre towards her.

Annin: (singing) They're surely not over the hiilll...

Now Annin begins to stand with the ogres.

Annin: (singing) So here's the ones with a pension!
Experienced, worldly and fine!
They've medical needs we can't mention!
They'll swamp you with presents divine!

It's true that they're often quite fragile
And must get around in a chair.
But you'll find they're surprisingly agile
When the right motivation is there!

Annin sat back to her song, motioning to the standing ogres while singing some more.

Annin: (singing) They're frequently free with their money.
My head isn't turned by the cash.
It's great if it makes your life easy,
But I'd rather they still cut a dash.

The hecklers look eager as they sing as well.

Slinkman: (singing) She looked straight at me--what a daisy!
Did you see that glint in her eye?

Lumpus: (annoyed/singing) If you think she likes you, you're crazy!
It's me, sir, I tell you no lie!

The audience laughs as Annin sat at a table, one of the ogres is sitting on the other end holding the utensils while another is posing as a waiter.

Annin: (singing) You must always speak to them kindly.
Don't tell them they're all skin and bone.

Once the waiter ogre is gone, the woman is seen standing near the sitting one, hand on his back and poking at his face while singing.

Annin: (singing) Or else, dear, they might go to pieces...

Suddenly the two look surprised as the ogre's arm fell off and lands on the floor. The audience laughs as the ogre got up, got his arm, and leave the stage. We see the spotlight on Annin as she sat sadly in her chair while finishing the song up.

Annin: (singing) And then...you'll be dining alone.

The audience laughs and applaud as the act comes to an end. We check out the balcony...with Lumpus and Slinkman gone.

***********************

Backstage, the toons saw Annin coming in while one ogre tries to reattach the other's arm.

Danny: Hey Annin, fabulous stuff!

Julayla: A class act, and surprisingly dangerous!

Homestar: Right, though I gotta say, I hope one of those dawgs aren't going to plan on taking up drums!

Outside near the stage door, Grandpa Gohan open and saw Lumpus and Slinkman, dressed in their finest, with the former holding a box of chocolates and the other holding flowers.

Lumpus: Hey good evening! We'd like to see Annin please!

Slinkman: Yep! We're long time admirers!

Grandpa Gohan: (surprised) Goodness! Well, she is awfully busy tonight, but perhaps she'll see you during the break.

Slinkman grins as he gave the flowers to the old man while speaking.

Slinkman: Well, make sure that she get these, kay? I grew them myself.

Lumpus: (annoyed) No you didn't! You picked them from the Road Island 2 blocks down!

The audience laughs as Slinkman frowns at Lumpus while Grandpa Gohan took the box.

Slinkman: Oh, thanks for ruining the magic, sir! You'll notice I didn't mention the fact that you ate all the nougat ones already!

Lumpus: Only the bottom layer ones!

The audience laughs as the door close much to the two's notice. Inside, Grandpa Gohan grins as he walk off.

Grandpa Gohan: Nice boys.

************

Act 3: Toonpet Lab

We go to the set of Toonpet Labs where Jumbaa is greeting the folks while we see Pleakley dealing with bandages.

Jumbaa: Greetings, science lovers, and welcome to Toonpet Labs, where the future is being made today! My name is Dr. Jumbaa Jookiba and this is my assistant Pleakley. Here, we're going to demonstrate our latest invention. (to Pleakley) Pleakley, are you done there? The nice people are waiting!

Pleakley: Heeeeeellllppppp!

The audience laughs as Jumbaa use scissors to cut Pleakley free though he clip the one-eyed alien's tie in the progress.

Jumbaa: Tsk, tsk.

Pleakley: Oh man, that was very terrible!

Jumbaa: Today we're going to demonstrate our newest Anti-Aging Treatment...one procedure with frankly miraculous results.

As Pleakley heads off, Jumbaa hold up a walnut as he continues.

Jumbaa: Behold, the humble walnut. Where once were grooves, fissures and wrinkles. Now we find a surface as smooth as glass--only more tasty! (titter)

Pleakley came back with some bandages and bandages as his friend continues.

Jumbaa: Now then, let me demonstrate the procedure from soup to nuts, if you will. Pleakley, if we may?

Pleakley: Sure, no problem, though I really don't approve of this...

As Pleakley watch in worry, Jumbaa, he hold up some cream in a jar as he continues.

Jumbaa: The secret is in the cream--a compound containing a special enzyme secreted from the firrbil gland of a Togepi!

The alien got a tool out and dunk it into the cream while speaking some more.

Jumnbaa: Our tests have shown it to be 100$ effective in removing wrinkles, scars and blemishes of every kind! Hold still, Pleakley!

The audience laughs as Jumbaa paste the cream onto Pleakley's face, making him yelp.

Pleakley: (Glub)

A while later, Pleakley's face is bandaged while we see Jumbaa holding a tuba.

Jumbaa: There will now be a short wait as we allow the cream to take effect. Previous tests have shown that the length of time required is almost exactly that which it will take me to perform a chorus of "The Gallant Bazaar" on my tuba!

Jumbaa plays a song on the tuba loudly and badly as the audience laughs. Once he's done, the alien glance at his watch.

Jumbaa: I'll be! I do believe the procedure is now complete! Let's take a look, shall we?

Jumbaa begins removing the bandages as he spoke.

Jumbaa: And it looks like...(grins) Yeah, yes it is!

The audience laughs as, once all the bandages are removes, we see nothing left on Pleakley's face, just a big blank.

Jumbaa: (grins) The experiment is one complete success-not a blemish on dear Pleakley's face remains! Hooray and stuff! (to audience) Folks, that's all for now. Join us next time when we will be attempting a new hair treatment! Just a few snags to iron out with a head to put back on and we will be ready to go! Until then...good evening!

The audience laughs as they applaud, ending the act.

******************

In Annin's dressing room, we see hear lying on the couch with Lumpus on one end talking to her.

Lumpus: Well, Great Annin, I can hardly believe it...I used to watch your act when I was a young moose!

Annin: Is that so?

Lumpus: Ah, those songs you used to sing back then..."Do You Want To Know A Sekhment"..."You Hum The Verse And I'll Sing The Horus"..."When Iris Eyes Are Smiling"..."Nephthys Say Never Again"...

Annin: (frowns) That song isn't one of mine, that was Shirley Bastet.

The audience laughs as Lumpus look embarrassed.

Lumpus: Oops, sorry.

Annin begins to yawn as the moose continues.

Lumpus: So tell me, Annin, do you think you could find it in your heart to care for an old duffer like...

Grandpa Gohan's Voice: Okay, time is up!

The audience laughs as a surprised Lumpus saw the old man coming.

Lumpus: Wha...huh?

Grandpa Gohan: We run a tight hip here, Mister Lumpus, you aren't the only pebble in the sand, you know.

We see a frowning Lumpuis leaving the dressing room, passing Slinkman who is about to go in.

Slinkiman: (grins) Step aside, Marc Anthony.

Lumpus: (frowns) Both of them, Brutus! (yelling) Tell her how much you liked "Nephthys Say Never Again". She would love to hear that!

The audinece laughs. Now we see a worried June looking in a handheld mirror.

June: Oh man, oh man, I must be getting old, I'm getting terribly, terrible old!

June turn and saw Fuzzy, Zapp and two ogres approaching.

Fuzzy: 'Ay, June! I'm working up a special one-off act wit' 'de ogres here. Want 'ta be a part o' it?

June: (glares) How weird is it?

Fuzzy: Well, define weird.

June: You.

The audience laughs as Fuzzy continues.

Fuzzy: No, no, hear me out. 'De idea is like "De Picture O' Dorian Grey". There are three o' us on stage, "young, virile and handsome"...an' three behind a screen...old, withered, an' impossibly...

Suddenly the Asian girl angirly punch Fuzzy sending him across the stage. As the audience laughs, June storms off as a concerned Zapp spoke.

Zapp: June, you don't understand, you were one of the beautiful ones!

June: (frowns) Can it, dimples!

Zapp glances at a groaning Fuzzy.

Fuzzy: Thunk she brought it?

Zapp: I will take a wild guess and say...no.

The audience laughs. Now we see June glancing at Danny who is holding a sundial.

June: (thinking) Well, now or never...the clock is ticking. Unless I act now, it may be too late for me...

June quickly got in front of Danny, blocking him as she speak.

June: Danny, have you ever noticed how quickly the days fly by?

Danny: Well, not really, June. Too busy, I guess.

June: (pokes at Danny) That's it, though, Danny, that's my point! We are not getting younger, either of...we got the opportunity...no wait, a responsibility--to seize the moment!

Danny: (sweatdrop) We do?

June: I say "live today"..for who knows what may happen to us tomorrow?

June spins around though she unknowingly hit Danny, sensing him down the nearby stairs, making the audience laugh.

Danny: Aawwk!

June: Heck, one of us may get hit by a bus...or fall down a flight of...

Suddenly June cringe as we hear Danny falling down the stairs like mad. Once the noises stop, the girl look worried while the audience laughs.

June:...stairs. Oops.

************************

Act 4: Zapp Brannigan, Monster Smasher!

We hear some spooky like music as a familiar narrator spoke.

Narrator: And now it's time for...Zapp Brannigan, Monster Smasher!

We see the cast in front of us as the narrator introduce him.

Narrator: Starring Zapp Brannigan, Friend and Foe! Crack Report Juniper Lee! And the equanmical Dr. Otto Scratchensniff!

We see the trio in a room glancing at cylinders with monsters images on the doors with June writing.

Narrator: Last time, the Frantically Obsesses Group (F.O.G.) had found a secret underground compound filled with strange pod-like cylinders of alien origin! Their decision making? Either tell the government, knowing that they will almost certainly blow the place to smithereens? Or do they keep the secret...as well as terrible danger...to themselves? It's a tough one! Now read one...

Zapp: (concerned) So tell me, Doctor Scratchensniff, what are the scientific odds that the creatures in these pods are friendly?

Scratchensniff: (scoff) You kidding? Zapp, have you been to a drive-in or watched the late show? They're always evil, brain-sucking monsters!

June: (dryly) Reminds me of you two.

The audience laughs as June continues.

June: So let's see if I got this straight...these pods contain alien forms who could be in...hibernation?

Scratchensniff: (nods) Cryogenic suspension, to be honest. The original F.O.G. met some of these guys in the 1940s! And let me tell you, those freaks won't take "no" for an answer.

Zapp: (ponders) Maybe you were saying it wrong.

Zapp: Right. We said it like this: (hands on face) NOOOOOO!

The audience laughs.

Zapp: Well, that ought to do it...well, I assume their agenda was the usual like global domination, eat your brains, that sort of thing?

Zapp: (concerned) On the button, Zapp--Classic 39B! Why if we wake up one of these guys, it starts one unstoppable chain reaction! We only stopped them the last time because we got lucky with a random outbreak of Chikungunya Fever!

Zapp: (ponders) Hmm...so I guess what we should do is...not wake them up?

June: (frowns) Not wake them up?! Why, of all the silly...silly...um...

The audience laughs as the trio ponders and look surprised while glancing. Now we see Scratchensniff leaving the room.

Scratchensniff: I will get the jeep around front. How about we pretend that we were never here, okay?

June: (frowns) You guys telling me that you never thought of this in 1942?

Zapp: (confused) Did I say something?

The audience laughs as we fade to the sky as the narrator spoke.

Narrator: Does Zapp Brannigan really does this stuff for a living? Will Doctor Scratchensniff tell more stories from his weird past, like the ones about the four foot librarian and the drunken Rhydon? Does Juniper Lee files these stories with her editor, or does she uses the pieces of paper for who knows what else? All this and more will most likely be ignored on the next exciting episode of...Zapp Brannigan, Monster Smasher!

*****************

We now see Lumpus and Slinkman sitting on the steps near the stage door looking concerned.

Lumpus: So...

Slinkman: No way it can go on forever like this, sir.

Lumpus: Sure can't.

Slinkman: Clearly, we gotta resolve this like gentlemen.

Lumpus: (smiles) It's her eyes that got me.

Slinkman: (grins) As well as that nose...oh, what a nose!

Lumpus: Yeah, she clearly likes the younger men.

Slinkman: She's...(sighs happily) perfect.

Lumpus: (glares) Am I correct in assuming that you are not intending on standing aside, Slinkman?

Slinkman: That is correct, sir. And how about you?

Lumpus: Quite so. We are of one mind, it seems.

Slinkman pauses to think the nods.

Slinkman: Well, I hoped that it wouldn't come to this, but you left me no choice, sir. I challenge you to a duel!

Lumpus: (frowns) You want a duel? You got it! May the best man win. Name your weapon!

Slinkman: Rotten tomatoes?

Lumpus: Fitting choice, Slinkman...a fitting choice.

The two then shakes hands, unaware that the stage door is opened with a worried Delete watching before leaving. The droid rush into the backstage and towards Gir and Coach Z as he speak.

Delete: Danny! Danny, it's bad! Lumpus and Slinkman are...(looks around) Uh, Danny?

June appears, crying as she speak.

June: Dee Dee...I have done such a terrible thing!

Delete: June, sis? What's...what's wrong?

June shakes Delete as she continues.

June: It...it wasn't my fault! I just m-made a dramatic gesture...as is my wont...(sob)...and...and..

Delete: (confused) What? What?

June: (screaming) I turned Danny into a mummy! Waaaah!

The audience laughs as Delete looks confused. He gasp as Danny is getting pushed in in a wheelchair by Marzipan in her nurse outfit. The halfa is in bandages and a cast.

Delete: Gah! Danny!

Danny: (sighs) It's all right, Delete...the doctors say I should be up and about again before you can say "Tutankhamlin". (quietly) Just don't say it for 3 weeks, okay?

The audience laughs as June groan.

June: Man, I blame myself!

Danny: Well, Ray-Ray blame you too, June and so do I...a bit. But hey, these things happen...especially around here.

Marzipan: (grins) Well, on the bright side, Danny, at least you're not a real mummy. Come to think about it, that is cool as I am not a real nurse!

Delete: (worried) I've got a horrible feeling we're too late anyway...I think the duel is about to kick off!

*************

Act: The Pyramid of Other World

The audience applaud as we see the final act. Lumpus and Slinkman, in colonist like clothes, stood back to back on an Egyptian set. Two ogres hold out bags of tomatoes while Annin is sitting on a couch tossing a grape to herself. Grandpa Gohan look at his watch while holding a starting gun. The old man begins to sing.

Grandpa Gohan: (singing) I hope that you fellows are ready...
I'll shortly be firing the gun.
Just take twenty paces and wait there,
And soon we'll be over and done.

The two took their paces and turn to confront one another.

Lumpus: (singing) You know it's a mtter of honor!
The least that my pride will allow!

Slinkman: (singing) Quite frankly, I feel somewhat foolish...
But darned if I'm going to stop now!

Grandpa Gohan now fires his starting gun. The two hecklers throw tomatoes at one another as the song continues. The audience laughs.

Lumpus: (singing) Take that, you banana sack of potatoes!

Slinkman: (singing) Engarde! For the lady sublime!

Annin: (yawning/singing) Oh dear! Are those fellows still at it?

We see Jonny in the balcony, frowning as he sings.

Jonny: (singing) Wow, things really do look worse from this high.

The audience laughs as back on the set, we see the two covered in tomatoes as Grandpa Gohan glance at his watch.

Grandpa Gohan: (singing) We're done! That's the end of the fighting!
I declare this farrago a tie!
Now it's up to the lady to choose one...

To the trio's shock and surprise, they see Annin leaving with Mr. Herriman. The audience laughs once more as Slinkman shrug while singing the final line.

Slinkman: (singing) Well...we knew she preferred older guys.

The audience laughs as they applaud with the act coming to an end.

*****************

Narrator: Later...

We see Annin waving to Mr. Herriman as Grandpa Gohan and the ogres watch on.

Annin: Thanks for a wonderful, old-fashioned evening, Mr. Herriman.

Mr. Herriman: (grins) Heh, only kind I know!

As Mr. Herriman left, two familiar hecklers appear.

Slinkman: Errr, Miss Annin, all right if you got time for a couple of guys like us?

Annin: Of course, come in.

Inside the dressing room, Annin put on some powder while Grandpa Gohan is doing some work with the ogres staring stupidly. Lumpus speak as he and Slinkman sat down.

Lumpus: Look, we did some talking once we both cooled down a bit. You're...you're actually the samne Annin we saw when we were boys, right?

Slinkman: (nods) Right, the fondness for guys old and young...the fact that you seem to be the boss of these walking stiffs, no offense...the uncanny resemblance to the girls who amazed us when we were still in short pants...

Lumpus: Yeah. Soon we then realized...(sighs) You're actually a bit old for us, right?

The audience laughs as Annin grins.

Annin: Wow, you two boys are clever, aren't you! Yes, I will be 126 years old next month!

Slinkman: (surprised) Really? I have to say you don't look a day over eighty!

Lumpus: Very incredible, Miss Annin! Tell us...wrinkly to wrinkly...what is your secret?

The woman smiles as she hold up a jar of cream that said, "Formalde Hide. Hide Those Wrinkles: As Used By Professionals."

Annin: This is "Formalde-Hide, guys. With that, as well as some old hypnotism, is how I can pass for a well-worn 30, something or another. (shrugs) However, it's a bit late for the ogres here. Whatever charms they used to have are gone forever. I bet these lades turned some heads back in their days...

The two glance at the weird ogres while speaking.

Lumpus: Eh, I bet they could still turn a few heads if they wanted to.

Slinkman: Right, I bet they could also twist them right off!

The audience laughs once more. A while later, we see the two outside the dressing room.

Slinkman: So how about it? Forgive a fool like me?

Lumpus: (shrugs) Eh, forgiven and forgotten. How about you?

Slinkman: Eh, why not?

As the two walk off, they continue talking.

Lumpus: To be honest, I am not sure what we saw in that old girl in the first place, now I think about it.

Slinkman: Right, I mean, charming, sure, but in a kind of obvious kinda way, yeah.

Lumpus: (grins) Obious, that's word, I'm looking for it...that's it!

Slinkman: (grins) Now Jane Doe, that scout leader we know of who also works her, on the othert hand...

Lumpus: Oh yeah, now that lady got some class.

Slinkman: (sighs happily) Class...yeah.

Lumpus: Yes, indeedy.

The audience laughs as the two glare at each other. We see them outside of Jane Doe's dressing room, struggling and fighting.

Lumpus: I saw her first!

Slinkman: (frowns) Hands off, you old moose!

Lumpus: Why of all the...

Slinkman: In your dreams, sir!

Lumpus: Eek!

Slinkman: Ook!

Both: Aaargh!!!

The audience laughs as we hear applauding, ending the story.

The End