EFCI chapter 24

Chapter 24: Church of Dark Alex II

Loud's group continues walking through the island, heading up some cliffs nearby, reaching the top. They notice some monkeys around a pile of rocks who screech like mad before rushing off.

"Damn. I wonder what spook them," Draco asks puzzled. "Of course, they probably never seen us before so..."

Loud and his friends glance into holes in three parts of the cliffs, along with some pathways and some ramp that looks like those things could shoot something into the air before the object lands on something. Interesting.

Loud picks up one rock from the pile, groaning a bit while saying, "Arrgh! Ungh! Guys, pick up some rocks. This looks like an interesting puzzle here."

Some of the heroes nod as they pick up some rocks. Loud threw his in the middle part of the cliffs, causing it to slide down a path quickly. A while later, Ryan throw his rock in the left side of the cliffs. It goes down until the rock itself send up in a ramp and went flying into the air, landing on the beach near Justy, startling the Aipom enough to make him go running off a bit.

The heroes watch Loud's rock rolling until it disappears, though nothing came onto the ramp. Kari comment, "Huh. Guess there isn't any more boulders on that ramp."

Needless to say, Loud and his friends kept on with the cliffs puzzles, throwing rocks like mad. This goes on for a while. During this puzzle, rocks crash into each other, making the other goes the other way. Soon one rock went flying off a ramp, landing in the canyon and near a mine where Pepe has done his gold digging.

Another rock proceeds into flying right up into the air and landing in a part of the lava field on the island, blocking a path and resulting in the lava in that said part to go flowing right into another part, right into a little part that looks like you could get out of a ride in.

After checking out the 'damages' that they done, Loud and his friends nod as they leave the cliffs area.

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Loud and his friends continue north towards the church that they see in the distance. The captain himself, along with Ryan, Jessie, Mowgli and Melody went up ahead until they arrive on the stair path to the church itself.

"Hey! What's that?" Mowgli ask in surprise as he notice something nearby, making the others look to see what the hell that the boy just said. The rest of the gang arrives, except near the bottom of the stair path just in time to witness the same thing.

Sure enough, the group spots a milk bottle near the lava field. Must be the same one that hit Pepe before and made the skunk lose some of his memories. However, without warning, a monkey appear and came over to the bottle itself, looking curiously at it.

With a mischievous smirk, the monkey pick up the bottle making a concern Fievel ask, "H...hey, w-what are you doing with that?" Before anyone could stop him, the monkey threw the bottle high into the sky. Everyone could only watch as the thing flew into the air before falling down onto a rock in the lava field, making it unreachable for anyone to get.

"Oh great. We can't get it," Loud remark with a groan. "Say Danny? You think you could...?"

"Sorry, can't. I try to go ghost before you woke up but I guess all that fighting has made me tired." Danny said with a sigh. "Plus, it would go against the script."

"So does Draco and me, Loudmouth," Iago remark with a shrug. Loud groans a bit. So much for some of his friends flying over and getting that milk bottle at where it's at.

"I have the power of GreyMonkey!" Ryan boom wildly, making the others look at him oddly. "What? The church on this island reminds me of He-Man."

The group nevertheless looks at the church itself, looks terrifying and wicked for one, then again, what do you expect from a church that worships Dark Alex II most likely? Loud and his friends breath in any courage that they got and answer the place.

Despite the place being a church, it definitely looks terrifying and evil on the inside more. The entrance looks like one to Hell, a table nearby has pamphlets with one saying 'Word of Dark Alex II. Take One!'. Of course, while the front has a part of your usual church, there is also a lava bed with log-like rides going through it. The glass windows are scarier and concerning. Three of them have Dark Alex II in his ghost, zombie and demon ass forms, the fourth has Fifi dressing like an angel while the last one has Loud with ropes in a damn pot.

"Well, it's official: this is a church of Hell." jjb88 said grimly. The others have to agree with him on that one. They came up to the front to investigate some more.

"Greetings, my children," A voice boom startling and/or scarling the newcomers to the church. A ghost of a white haired man in a suit wearing a necklace with a cross on it appears from out of nowhere. He appears to be putting his hands in a prayer position. "Welcome to the First Church of Dark Alex II. Orthodox. My name is Father William Stryker. How may I help you?"

"Wait, 'First Church of Dark Alex II'?" Loud ask, a bit disturbed of the church's title. "Tell us that you're kidding."

"On the contrary, not at all. This temple is dedicated to worshipping the awe-inspiring perfection that is Dark Alex II."

"Damn it, why the hell would you made a religion around Dark Alex II?! That bastard is an unholy demon pirate from Hell!"

Needless to say, Stryker is not pleased with Loud's tone of voice as well as the remark towards Dark Alex II, making the priest snap furiously while getting in the pirate's face, scaring the hero, "I kindly suggest you watch your tongue here, heretic! Such blasphemies will not be tolerated in his house!"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down!" June insist as she quickly move the ghost priest away from Loud. "He didn't mean it. The boy was just surprised. He just heard of this religion. Give him time to tolerate it."

"Hmph! Very well, but for his sake, he best to watch this tongue!"

"Say how does the Church of Dark Alex II compare to other religions?" Uther ask Stryker curiously as the priest goes back to where he was a few seconds ago.

"Well, they are remarkable alike." Stryker answers. "But with ours, it involves a lot more screaming, flames and pointy sticks to poke people's butts with."

"Well, that's kinda what we imagined." Iago remarks with a shrug.

"Iago," Draco snaps to his parrot friend before turning to Stryker while motioning to the lava bed. "Say, don't look now, pal, but there's a lava bed flowing right through your middle."

Stryker smiles a bit while explaining, "Of course, I know. We use it for church ceremonies."

"Raptisms?"

"Funerals," T.K. ask Stryker curiously.

"Bar Mitzvahs," Fievel guess next curiously.

"Well, coming from you, Jewish friend, I am not surprised." Tiger remark with a slight chuckle.

"Actually, weddings," Stryker answers, much to the group's notice and a bit of surprise.

"Ah, so that's one way to cure cold feet." Harry joke a bit making some of his friends chuckle at his frigging joke. "May I ask, how does this stream of lava fit into the wedding ceremonies you perform here?"

The ghost priest grins at Harry's question as he begin to fly around the place, explaining, "Ah, yes, very good question. Here at the Church of Dark Alex II, marriage is seen as a great plunge into the unknown. As symbol of that, we send our newlyweds on one harrowingly ride down a river of molten lava."

"Won't that kill them?" Jesse asks the priest in concern as Stryker came back.

"Only if the restless spirit of Dark Alex II doesn't like the union at all. Anyway, our honeymoon boats are lined with DaffyTech Voodoo Enhanced Ashestos in order to keep the deaths to the right minimum."

"If Daffy is mentioned, there's going to be a lot of frigging deaths," Loud remark in amusement. The hero got a crazy if not frigging idea. "Say, we want to try your lava plunge."

"Wait, what?" Sweetie asks Loud in surprise and concern.

"Loud, do you want to kill us?" Danny ask Loud in shock. How could his captain even suggest a crazy ass idea like that?

Stryker of course doesn't seem to hear Sweetie and Danny's protests as he answer with a grin, "Ah, wonderful. Where is your bride? Or to the point, which ones of you are going to be married very soon?"

"Well, Danny and I are already married." Loud explains. "June, the Asian woman here, is the halfa's wife and my own wife is several islands away being chased by bad guys."

"Some of us are too young to be married." Hermione explains.

"And some of us don't have any girls...well, in Ryan's case, he got one and isn't married yet." Patamon remark.

"Patamon," Ryan and Jesse exclaim to the Digimon, both of them are blushing like hell.

"I see. Well, looks like you can't take the plunge." Stryker said with a shrug. After all, if some of the heroes are married, too young to married, etc., what's the use of letting them ride the lava plunge ride?

"Say, what are you? A hologram or something?" jjb88 ask puzzled as he walk forward to Stryker, looking at the ghost curiously.

"jj, he's a ghost, Hermione and I have seen a lot and knows what ghosts look like." Harry explains to jjb88 with an annoyed sigh.

"Your friends are right. I'm a ghost." Stryker confirm with a nod.

"And...you're a priest," Loud said to Stryker while arching an eyebrow a bit.

"Da, yes."

"In that case...you're a holy ghost, right?"

A pause, then Ryan remark to Loud dryly, "You're luckily it's too damn hot in here. Otherwise, I would throw a snowball at you for that wise ass remark."

Stryker chuckles a bit as he said, "Hahahaha. Very clever, my child...but let's not go looking for trouble in here, okay?"

"How did a ghost like you end up running the First Church of Dark Alex II?" Loud begins to ask Stryker curiously.

"Loud, don't!" Gatomon exclaim to Loud with a gasp.

Too late as Stryker respond with, "That is one interesting story, loud boy..."

Most of Loud's groan in frustration and annoyance making the hero realize what he just done, making him ask sheepishly, "Why the hell do I keep asking people for their life stories?"

"Because you're asking for trouble, that's what!" Iago scowl to Loud angrily.

Stryker of course didn't hear the groans and remarks as he explains, "Many years ago, I was a captain of a statley ship called 'The Purifier'..."

"Of course! Now I know you are! It was in the back of my head until now!" Hermione exclaim with a frown. "You're the military leader/preacher and televangelist of a group called the Purifiers who has a bigotry against mutants, involving a history with the Weapon X project!"

"Well, well, so a bigot is running this place." Jesse remark dryly. "No wonder you have a great view of Dark Alex II."

"Well, yes, but let me continue with my story. I had a good time, hauling contraband plus toys from one island to another while the same time killing off any mutants who is an abomination and a curse of the devil," Stryker said while telling his story.

"Then you met Dark Alex II, right?" Loud ask Stryker curiously.

"Right, and then I met Dark Alex II. His crew of crazy ghost pirates, some of which are Heartless, made quick work of my ship and slaughter my fine crew, not even our weapons which were made for mutants were a match for them."

"Disgusting, I hate when that happens." Melody remarks in disgust.

Stryker nods while continuing, "Dark Alex II himself gut me with his flaming ghost sword and held my pancreas, still beating, before my face, taunting me before I died."

"Eew, that's icky." Kari remarks in disgust. Dark Alex II is one sick bastard to show his victim's his organs as the last thing he or she saw before they died.

"I would've been send home to my God, but when I woke up, I became a member of his obedient ghost crew."

"I see. So how do you turn from a ghost pirate to a ghost priest anyway?" T.K. asks Stryker curiously, wondering about that part of the ghost's afterlife.

"Well, it was a gradual process. At first, I hated and despite Dark Alex II for turning me into a ghost and keeping me from God. But the more I think about it, the more I came to revere him as a god, or in this case, the real God all this time." Stryker explains some more. "After all, he did being me back from the dead which is a neat trick that even God himself would pull. So I build this church here in his honor."

Well, that explains a lot. Stryker thinks that Dark Alex II is God, though the priest may not realize the truth. Loud ask, "So how do you like being a ghost priest?"

"The hours are good but I miss the high seas. But it gives me comfort knowing that Dark Alex II has slaughtered a few mutants, saying that it's to thank me for doing the word in his name."

"For a bigot against mutants, no kidding," Uther remark to Stryker in amusement.

"Say, we could use some advice," Loud said to the ghost priest with a nod. Even if Stryker worships Dark Alex II and hates mutants, perhaps some advice could help the gang out.

"What's troubling you, my children?" Stryker ask the group in priest business mode.

"We got to find a way off this goddamn frigging island!"

"There is no Escape from Cartoon Island...well, it's the title of this story, but still, no escape."

"Ha! Shows what you know mutant hater!" Ryan snaps at Stryker in defiance. "Hell, we have escaped this island on two occasions!"

"Well, ninja boy smarty pants, why don't you all try escaping again?" Stryer challenge the heroes with a frown on his face.

"Uh...we can't." Mowgli said in concern.

"At least, not the same way we did." Melody admits with a sigh.

"Ha!" Stryker laugh in amusement as if what the kids just said has proven his point.

"Looks, we still need to Escape from Cartoon Island." Jesse explains to Stryker clearly.

"As I said before, Native American, there is no Escape from Cartoon Island. Not even in the sweet embrace of death."

"Well, that seems discouraging." June remarks dryly. "Anyway, we're looking for an antidote to the Fatal Insult."

"Hmm, never heard of that," Stryker said puzzled. "What is it?"

"Well, it's a voodoo talisman that breaks the souls of pirates."

"I see. Well, when I travelled with Dark Alex II in the past, I noticed that the easiest way to deal with a voodoo curse is by using a BIGGER voodoo curse one. But then again, I may be oversimplifying your plight a bit."

"Well, that's okay, our plight could use some simplifying now and again." Jesse said with a nod. "We're still looking for an antidote to the Fatal Insult BTW."

"Well, try to think big, young Native American one." Stryker advise Jesse, probably frigging unaware that he's helping them against Dark Alex II so to speak.

"We've got a couple of assholes on our backs." Loud explains with a deep frown.

"I see. Well, my son, you must do what Dark Alex II does when being beset by many enemies at once."

"Run like a damn pussy," Iago remark to Stryker in amusement.

"No, no, and you need therapy, parrot!" Stryker snap to Iago in annoyance. "I mean you must turn your enemies' energies against one another."

"How," Loud ask Stryker puzzled. How will the hero perform a task that his asshole of an enemy, Dark Alex II, has done.

"Oh, how should I know? I'm only a ghost!"

"On second thought, maybe getting advice from an obsessed ghost priest is one bad idea."

"As you wish," Stryker said with a shrug. Loud looks at the lava flow ride, getting a thought. Maybe there's a way he and his pals can get to the other side of the island if what they saw when the rock crash into the lava field before is right.

"About the lava flow ride...come on, let us ride the damn thing down a river of molten lava. I'm sure you haven't test drive these babies yet."

"Loud, what are you saying? Are you sure you want to do the lava ride? Looks dangerous," Jesse whisper to Loud in concern.

"I know, but how else are we going to get to the other side of the island," Loud whisper to Jesse. The others who heard him made the same realization as he is. Now they understand what's going on.

Stryker as usual didn't hear the important stuff. The ghost priest ponders a bit while saying, "Well, I guess we could use another test run before the impending nuptials of Dark Alex II and Fifi."

"What?" Loud ask in shock and alarm, his heart almost went still with fear upon hearing that.

"Hop on board, everyone. There's enough room for you all."

The group follows Stryker as he led them to the lava flow ride. They wait until one log, enough for them to fit in, arrives. Of course, there's one thing about it that made Loud shock even more than the lava.

"It's...pink." Loud said in disbelief and disturbed. Again, the pirate has to ride in something that is pink. Still, he and his pals got into the log, making sure not to touch the lava during the getting in part.

"Now at this point, I would say something about the joys of marriage, but since some of you are married already, I've skip that part." Stryker remarks with a smirk before pushing the log to start the 'ride'.

"Oh, I've got a bad feeling about this..."

Soon the gang screams as they arrive at a lava waterfall, falling downward like hell and very fast. Luckily, the heroes arrive at the bottom safe and sound, though a bit shaken. They begin moving the log carefully as to avoid any collisions.

Loud and his friends of course bump into various logs, causing them to go back and end up in different directions at some point. They spot the milk bottle on a rock from before but cannot reach it. And since the ones who could fly are still too tired or so, no flying is involved big time.

Eventually the pink log sail down a path, stopping in the small lava hole from earlier. Everyone got out of the ride safe and sound with Ryan commentating, "Well, despite the obvious, I think that is a fun ride."

"Right, but not the one I want to be married in." Jesse said with a nod. "I prefer to do the typical without falling over a lava fall and this log stuff.

The group walks up a cliff and saw a lone tree that doesn't look very stable. They push the thing until it fell right over, the top part landing on the other side of the lava. Good! Now Loud and his friends can use this as a bridge to avoid going on the lava ride (though they will have to do so in order to get to the milk bottle once the gang are able to later).

Loud and his friends went the other way, finding a bridge over a part of some lava that goes into a cave (must lead back to the church). They cross it as the gang heads over to the other side of Cartoon Island.

Author's note
Well, Loud and his friends are on the other side of the lava field but can't reach the milk bottle yet. Perhaps later. In the next chapter, the heroes meet up with a monkey named Curious George (son of a familiar monkey from the first story) who introduces the gang to some prophecies and a sport called 'Monkey Kombat'. Loud must defeat monkeys and the champion, Curious George Jr., to win a familiar item that the said champion is wearing. Read, review and suggest.

William Stryker is a Marvel villain from the comic book who first appeared in 'God Loves, Man Kill' graphic novel. He appears as a military villain in the X-Men movies (including the origin of Wolverine one) but I used his preacher form from the said comics.