Blazing Dragon chapter 3

Author's note
Okay, Terranova210486, thanks for telling us that.

Evil Riggs, look, you made some good points, the rest seems to be nagging. Let me do what I want with my fics. If I want to put in author's notes in the middle, I will.

Also those who gave me suggestions, very good. Thanks and now we see Burns beginning to scheme.

Chapter 3: The New Sheriff

Back in his office, the old man twirled in his chair as he fumes about the governor's request. Meanwhile, Smithers is getting some work done.
"Blast, he wants me to give that town a sheriff!" said Burns in frustration.
"Well, is that bad, sir? You are helping Toon Town by giving them some help." said Smithers, not seeing the full expanse of the problem.
"Smithers, you fool! Law and order will ruin everything! If I give Toon Town a sheriff, he will most likely stand in my attempts to get that railroad through. On the other hand, Bigweld wants me to recruit a sheriff and I am under his command, so I have no choice!"
"Well, it's not like you could just give the town someone they won't like."
Hearing that, Mr. Burns smirks as he said, "Smithers! You gave me a brilliant idea!"
"I do?" asked Smithers, not liking the look on his boss's face.
"This can be a use to us." Burns chuckles as he takes a piece of candy and ate one. "Yes, all I have to do is give those damned fools a sheriff, someone so disgusting and so terrible that they would throw up and leave town, maybe not in that order."
"You sure you want to do that, sir?" asked Smithers concerned.
"Of course. Yet, where can I find just a sheriff?" Burns frowns as he looked at the camera saying, "Why am I asking you?"
"Who are you talking to, sir?" asked Smithers puzzled.
"Just breaking the 4th wall, Smithers. They do that all the time on TV and stuff." A commotion is heard outside getting the old man's attention. "Smithers, what is that commotion? You go check because I am not risking hitting my head again!"
Smithers go to the window, open it and take a look outside. Sure enough, at the gallows, a certain half boy, half dragon is there while Genie assists him for his execution.
"Hello, welcome to the Hanging House," Genie greeted eagerly. "Don't worry about criticism! Here, everyone is equal in my eye, only one!"
"Oh, it's that dragon you promised Pete you would have hanged the other day, sir." Smithers said as he puts his head back in carefully. "Genie is about to hanged him right now."
Burns pauses as he thought about that, then he smirks as he laughs.
"Excellent." Burns said drumming his fingers. "Smithers, go down there and inform Genie that the poor boy has been pardoned. I think he has a bright 'future' ahead of him."
Smithers looked shocked as he said, "Wait, you're going to make him the new sheriff of Toon Town?"
"Precisely."
"But sir! The town has low tolerance for freaks like half dragons! They will lynched him on the spot!"
"Well, that get rid of one problem, doesn't it?" asked Burns evilly.

Inside the governor;s office, it seems the robot himself is out for the moment. But however, laughing is heard from the curtains nearby.
"Oh please. Not the ear." said Bigweld's voice giggling like a dumbass. He is 'busy' with the secretary.
A knock is heard as the door opens. Burns came in with Jake to inform Bigweld that he just found the new sheriff. Ash, Terra, Sora, and Ariel are with him, also freed from the execution.
"Good thing you told Burns you wouldn't go unless we get freed as well." said Sora nodding.
"Not a problem, dog. After all, I couldn't let my buds get executed, right?" asked Jake grinning.
"That's right." Ariel agreed.
"Also, it's a good thing you got him to let Pikachu out too." said Ash grinning. A creature got on the boy's shoulders. He is a yellow mouse-like creature, and he had pointy ears, with them partially black, and black eyes, and a lightning bolt-shaped tail. His name is Pikachu, Ash's new best friend and Pokemon. They met while being locked up. It's a good thing Pikachu was released too. The little guy was going to be hanged for causing blackouts.
"Pikachu, Pika Pika, Pika Pi," said Pikachu happily.
"Governor Bigweld? Governor?" called Burns knowing the robot is behind the curtains with his 'business'.
Sure enough, Bigweld pokes his head out as he said, "Yes? What is it, Burns?"
"It's your official job but that's not important right now. I came on business."
"Well is it important?"
"Of course, very urgent!" said Burns grinning.
"Okay, okay. Hold on for a moment." Bigweld groans. He hates when his 'business' is interrupted. Getting back into the curtains, he spoke to someone, "Listen, Fanny, put something on and stay in that position."
Bigweld soon came out of the curtains as he said, "Sorry to keep you all waiting, folks." He noticed his zipper is down causing him to zip it back up. "Business and all that at the parapet. Anyway, what can I do you for?"
"Bigweld, I would wish to introduce you to the new sheriff of the town in Rock Ridge." said Burns nodding to Jake.
"Oh how do you...WHOA!" Bigweld looks alarmed as Jake, deciding the surprised the governor, turns into his dragon self. Turning aside, he said, "A word with you please?" Putting his arm around what he presumes to be Burns, he walks away snapping, "Have you lost it?! Don't you know that guy is a drag...""
Bigweld turns and yelps in alarm. He actually put his arm around Jake who glares at him frowning. The governor chuckles sheepishly as he said, "My bad! Thought you were Burns! Sorry, no offense, dragon boy!"
"Whatever." said Jake with a shrug as he heads to his friends, all knowing he was really trying to insult Jake.
Bigweld managed to get Burns this time, putting an arm around him. As he walks away, Bigweld tried again, "Have you lost it?! Don't you that guy is a drag?!"
"Oh, sir, you shouldn't worry about crap like that." said Burns. As the two talked, Ash and Pikachu digs around the governor's desk looking for some snacks or something.
"Burns, I have gone along with what you suggested and/or say before but this time, your old age has collided with your old ass!"
Bigweld groans as he fell into Burns's arms, the old man help him up and walks with him as he said, "Now, now Bigweld old boy. Don't think like that. Why, you are offered a golden opportunity. You could be famous, a historical figure. Why someone to have...a cabinet post!"
A cabinet post?!" said Bigweld amazed. That does sound good now that Burns mentioned it.
"Precisely."
"Did you say that?"
"Of course I did!" Burns chuckled.
"Incredible." Bigweld said grinning as he goes over to his dominoes and knocks them down like he likes to.
"Imagine...you will be the first person to appoint a half dragon as a sheriff. Think of those in the past who were nobodies, losers not the other part, until up to now."
Ash and Pikachu found some cigars and passed them out. Terra looks puzzled at her cigar as she said, "Are you sure we should be smoking these? We are too young you know."
"Oh loosen up, sis. This is a PG-13 fic." said Sora as he smokes his cigar.
Jake sat back in Bigweld's chair, putting his dragon feet on the desk as he listens to the Attorney General buttering up the robot governor. "...Imagine Washington, Jefferson..."
"Lincoln." said Ariel as she stops smoking for a bit.
"Le Petomane!" laughed Burns as he waves his arms around. He however startled Bigweld enough to knock his head onto something. As the robots groans, Burns helped him up as he continued, "Bigweld, you got more greatness than you imagined."
"Tell me about it." said Bigweld cringing a bit. That really hurt.
"You nurse them, caress them, poured water on them. Imagine that if you will."
Bigweld glances at Jake and his friends. He sighs. The idea sounds nice but he is still concerned.
"Not sure it will work. The moment the town sees the half dragon, they will killed in one day." said Bigweld shaking his head.
"That is what you need to secure your name in the annals of Western History." Burns said laughing a bit. "And who knows? One day you could get nominated for...dare I say...?"
"Dare, dare!" said Ash grinning listening in for a bit.
"Pikachu!" said Pikachu chuckling.
"Don't encouraged him." said Ariel with a sigh.
"Yeah, it's bad enough Jake may get killed when he does become sheriff." agreed Sora worried.
"Huh?" asked Jake puzzled.
"Nothing. Go back to your smoking."
"Th Presidency!" said Burns excited.
"Oh wow!" Bigweld laughs but then he hits his head on something again making him yelped, "Oh damn! That hurts!"
"Hail to the Chief, may he helped us all!" laughed Burns as he helps the robot up once more. The robot held his head as the old man did a march with him and sang a song.

Burns: Rum Dum Da Da Dum Da Da Ta Ta Ta Da Dum Rum Dum Te Da Dum De Dum De Dum Ta Da

Getting caught up in the moment, Bigweld laughs as he held a statue of Lincoln saying, "'Four Score and seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth on this...'"
He is interrupted when Aunt Fanny peeks out from out of the curtains wearing a bikini that is too small for her bottom.
"Hey Bigweldie? You coming back?" asked Aunt Fanny, eager to get back to her 'fun'.
"Uh right, right. Be there." insisted Bigweld quickly. Aunt Fanny closes the curtains as the governor continued, "Well ladies and gentlemen, my affairs of state must take precendent over the state affairs."
"Oh really?" said Ariel smirking, knowing what Bigweld mean while Jake gets off the chair before changing back to his human self.
"Of course, I got it." said Burns grinning. He knew this idea would work. He just needs the governor's approval.
"Make sure all the arrangements, okay?" asked Bigweld eager to get back to his screw...err, I mean 'business'.
"Right, right. Don't worry, everything will be fine." said Burns grinning as he and Jake's group is about to take their leave.
"Don't forget the funeral."
"Why am I freaked out upon hearing that?" asked Ash worried.
"Pikachu." said Pikachu nodding as everyone headed out the door.
"Good luck, everyone! Hope to work with you when you survived, if that is the case. Good luck!" said Bigweld waving them goodbye. Once the door is closed and he is alone, he chuckled as he unzipped and pulled down his pants revealed his undies. He whistles the song Burns sang earlier as he returns to the curtains. He got some 'business' to finish up.

Jake and his friends got their badges and such (they said they will have no need for uniforms) from Burns the next day and are already on horses riding to Toon Town. Music begins to play as they ride on magically.
Nearby, they see that the music is coming from a group of frogs performing on instruments while Franny Robinson conducts. As they pass by, Ash grins as he slapped the hand (or whatever frogs has) of Frankie the frog.
"Hey Frankie! All right! Yeah!" explained Ash laughing as he high-five the frog. Frankie laughs as the gang continued on their way while the band makes their big finish. The heroes meanwhile are approaching the town of Toon Town.

In Toon Town, the citizens are getting things ready for their new sheriff including putting up a 'Welcome Sheriff' poster. They are unaware of who Bigweld has sent and what he is. All they know is that the governor has got them a sheriff and he is arriving.
Nearby is a tall and lanky figure who wore an open tattered purple trench coat which he wore over a turquoise turtleneck sweater. He also wore a dark-grey, dirty, patched wizard hat and a red and purple scarf that concealed his face in shadows, except for his pitch-red eyes. He had giant metal claws that could transform into any gadget or tool and metal cleat-like legs, which made him a cyborg. But what was most disturbing about him was that he had a long, worm-like tail. He was called Wormtail96 (due to obvious reasons), a mad scientist/wizard with the I.Q. of 296 and the mayor of Toon Town.
"Come on, get those flags ready! The sheriff will be arriving shortly!" said Wormtail96 getting all excited.
Just then Captain Hero flies in and lands. He is excited as he said, "Hey guess what? A telegram came from the governor! It said the sheriff will be here at noon!"
The crowd gasped in excitement. It is almost noon so they have no more time to waste!
"Hurry, people! I got to get my speech ready!" Wormtail96 takes out a paper and reads it. "'As Honorary Chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend to you a Laurel and," He holds up a wreath as he continued, "'Hardy handshake!'"
"Hmm-hmph. Sounds good." said Foxxy grinning. Whoever this new sheriff is going to be, he is going to like that. However, she has no idea who he is.
"Yeah. I agreed." said Mr. Incredible.
"Hey Ed!" yelled Eddy waving a flag in Ed's direction. "You see him yet?"
"Uh...here's Edd!" said Ed stupidly as he points to Double D.
"Not me, the sheriff!" insisted Edd with a sigh. Sometimes Ed's stupidity frustrates him.
"Hey fleshbacks!" This came from Bender who is on the roof looking through a telescope. "I see the lucky bastard! He's coming!"
The crowd cheered happily as Wormtail96 exclaimed, "All right, ring the church bell!"
"Ring the church bell!" exclaimed Wooly the mammoth grinning. He looks excited.
Soon the church bells rang as a band plays their very bell. As this continue, Bender looks through the telescope. The sheriff is approaching but as he got close, the robot looks shocked. It is a dragon on a horse! Jake has decided to put on his best so he transformed into the American Dragon.
Turning back to everyone, he yelled, "Holy crap! The bastard is a d..." However the bell rang loudly cutting the last word off.
"Like what did he say?" asked Pudge puzzled.
"The sheriff is near, duh!" said Captain Hero grinning.
"Yeah!" said the crowd getting more excited.
"No, you bastards and bitches! Goddamn it, I said the new sheriff is a d..." Bender was cut off once more by the loud bell. June looks puzzled. It seems Bender was trying to tell them something.
It may not matter as the town sees the figures appeared and cheering 'hooray' unaware of what they are at first.
However, when they got close, they went silence and look shocked while the band stopped suddenly. Approaching is Jake in his dragon form and his friends on horses. They watched on in disbelief as they rode past. Wormtail96, unaware of what just happened, gets a card out, preparing to read it.
"Geez, these people looked like they haven't seen a Pikachu before." Ash said noting the crowd's uneasily looks at them all.
"Pikachu." said Pikachu concerned.
"Actually, I think they're staring at Jake." Sora pointed out.
June was surprised than shocked as she sees Jake. She said, "Is that..."
Wormtail96 clears his throat as he said, "As Chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend a Laurel and a Hardy handshake to our new..." He looks up and looks stunned as he finally saw Jake approaching with his friends. He frowns as he said, "Freak."
A man who was reading a magazine fell out of his chair upon seeing the group. The group stops in front of the podium, the poster flung up.
"Well, that's ironic." remarked Terra as she and the others got off their horses.
Jake, obviously unaware of what's going on, pulled the poster back down. Then he and his friends got to the stage and stopped near the stunned mayor. The American Dragon pauses then transformed back to his human self. The crowd is more shocked. Their new sheriff is a freak who is half dragon?!
"All righty, let me get this out, yo." said Jake reaching for something.
"HE GOT A GUN!" screamed Toot horrified, then she jumps to a nearby window and jumps through it, smashing it in the progress.
The rest, however, screams in a panic but then they sighs as they realized that he is getting out some paper and unfolding it. He is going to read to them.
Jake clears his throat as he said, "'By the power vested in me by the honorable Bigweld..." As he continues reading, the rest gasped, and that's only because most of the citizens, including Wormtail96 and Eddy, got guns out, preparing to open fire on the poor half dragon.
"Eddy!" yelped Edd concerned.
"Sorry, but this freak is dead!" snarled Eddy.
They all pointed their guns at Jake as he continued reading the paper, "'...I hereby assume the duties of the Office of Sheriff in and for the Township of Toon Town, Rock Ridge." The half dragon finally looked up and sees weapons drawn on him. This doesn't look good.
"Hold it!" said Lovejoy as he comes up to Jake holding the bible. "We cannot let anger take control of us despite the half dragon. As your spiritual leader, I request that you pay heed to the good book and what it has to say." He yelped as the citizens, including Eddy, open fire on the Bible shooting through it. Pausing, Lovejoy turns to Jake and shrugs, "Sorry, you are on your own."
The reverend left in a hurry as Jake's group looks at the weapons. Jake turn to the camera and comment, "It seems rather bizarre that they weren't anywhere near this well-armed when the ACTUAL bad guys come riding into town."
Cranston Goat comments, "Okay, so we bought A LOT of extra weapons between then and now. We admit it."
"Yes. Enough to stuff you, darling." said Francis Albacore nodding.
Before most of the Toon Town residents could open fire, June steps up in front of them and said, "Hold it. I know this guy personally. He's my cousin, in fact. Oh sure, he might be somewhat rough around the edges, but he's a pretty decent guy and I'm sure he'll make a great sheriff."
The Incredibles decides to also stick up for Jake as Mr. Incredible said, "And we know June well enough to know she has pretty good instincts about this sort of stuff. If SHE is vouching for him, that's good enough for MY family and I. Besides, we need all the help we can get."
Elastigirl, Dash and Violet all nod in agreement; though most of the rest of the town folk don't relent. Spanky Hamm pauses then shouts, "Let's kill the freaks!"
"Now what?" asked Ariel worried.
"I don't want to fight them. They just don't understand." said Sora worried.
"Relax. Ariel, it's time for Tactic: False Hostage Situation." Ash whispered to Ariel.
"Wait, you mean..." said Ariel concerned. That tactic is only used when it's time to do so.
"Yes. Do it, quickly."
"Pika, Pika. Pikachu!" yelped Pikachu as he hides behind Ash getting ready for the fire.
Ariel sighs. Then she got a trident out, grabs Jake, and screamed, "No one moved!" The citizens look confused as Ariel continues, "The next asshole whose does, this goddamn dragon and his damned friends are dead!!!!"
Jake nods as he recognized the tactic. He and the others play along as Terra mocked pleaded, "Don't hurt us! Please!"
"Don't do it, Ariel! I loved you!" said Sora mocking fear as well.
"Wait, don't shoot! That trident looks dangerous! She is crazy enough to kill them!" yelled Captain Hero. Being an idiot, he falls for it easily.
"Listen to the hot bitch! She may screw us all!" yelped Ling-Ling in fear.
"Drop your weapons or I will use this big ass trident to chopped this bastard into pieces and blow the rest of these assholes all over this goddamn town!!!!" snapped Ariel continuing the fake threats.
"Please, she's crazy! Do what she said or she will kill us all!" said Jake mocking fear.
Wormtail96, scared, dropped his weapons as did everyone else. The only ones who realized what is truly going on is June and the Incredibles.
"Are they faking a hostage situation?" Violet whispered to June.
"Yep. Good for them." said June grinning.
Soon everyone watched as the group was mockingly pushed away by Ariel away from the crowd. Tillie Hippo looks horrified as she said, "Oh dear! Shouldn't someone help them?"
"No, Tillie! We make a move and she will kill them!" said Danny Cat concerned.
"Help us, help us!" yelled Terra in mock terror.
"Pikachu!" agreed Pikachu in mock terror.
"Shut up the hell up!" screamed Ariel as she pretends to slaps Pikachu. The group has made their way to the sheriff's office, got inside, and closes the door.
Once inside, the group laughs in victory as Sora hugs Ariel as he said, "Good work, love."
"Thanks. I hate doing that." said Ariel with a sigh as she puts the trident away.
Jake comment, "Boy, those town folk make Elmer Fudd look like a rocket scientist."

Later, the town has a meeting. Recovering from the threat, they (well, most of them) are outraged by the governor's choice of mayor. They are yelling their concerns while Lovejoy banged the gavel trying to quiet down.
"Order please, order." said Lovejoy. When no one responded, he frowns as he gets out a gun and yelled, "I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!" He fires into the air shutting everyone up.
"Mommy, what's hell?" Oliver asked Sawyer puzzled.
"Uh, later, honey." said Sawyer uneasily as she makes a note to scold the reverend later for the language.
"You know, Nietzche did say, 'Out of chaos comes order'." Spankly said with a shrug.
"Oh, shove it out your ass, pig!" snapped Captain Hero pissed off.
"I mean, come on, this is like frigging crazy." said Xandir frowning.
Lovejoy waited until its quiet again as he continued, "Now if everyone could remain quiet, our esteemed schoolmarm, Princess Clara, will read a telegram she herself has made for Governor Bigweld, expressing our feelings about the sheriff."
"Thank you." said Princess Clara as everyone applauded for her as she came up to the stand. Clearing her throat, she begins to read the letter, "'To the honorable Bigweld, Governor..."
"We can't hear you!" T.W. shouted frowning.
"Speak up, bitch!" yelled Eddy.
"Eddy, stop that!" said Edd frowning.
"Sorry, but I am pissed off that I didn't shoot the freak earlier." said Eddy frowning.
"Oh come on. This is unnecessary." said June with a sigh. "I mean, you aren't giving Jake a chance. So what he's a half dragon? Big deal."
"She's right. We should allow the dragon to show what he's made of." said Elastgirl in agreement.
A pause, then Foxxy said, "Foxxy suggests we send the letter to Bigweld anyway."
"Yeah!" agreed the crowd nodding.
"Well, I know you sinners of God won't listen to me like the time my housemates listened to Foxxy instead of me when we were babies." said the princess with a sigh. "I am not used to this kind of speaking. However, Loud Kiddington can."
A brown haired boy in a green shirt and blue shorts came up and takes the letter. Loud Kiddington nods as he said, "Thank you, Princess."
Loud waits until the princess is offstage. He clears his throat...then begins to yelled, "'WE, THE GOD-FEARING PEOPLE OF TOON TOWN, ROCK RIDGE...'" The crowd yelps at the effect of his yelling. Some covered their ears as he continued, "'...WISH TO EXPRESS OUR EXTREME DISPLEASURE WITH YOUR CHOICE OF SHERIFF! PLEASE REMOVE HIM IMMEDIATELY'!"
"Yeah!" yelled the crowd who recovered from the yelling, so to speak.
''THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE SEND HIM HERE JUST GOES TO PROVE THAT YOUA RE THE LEADING ASSHOLE IN THE STATE!"
Once Loud is done, the crowd, recovering fully, applause. They are unaware that many cows, including Toot, passed by them.

Author's note
Hoo boy, the town isn't happy with Jake or his friends. Luckily the group got June and the Incredibles on their side. Next time, we see the heroes at work as we are introduced to the parody of the Waco Kid as well as the Mongo character Pete send to cause trouble. Read and review!