Blazing Dragon chapter 2

Author's note
Me again. Hey Anonymous But Interested, to explain the review removal, I accidentally deleted it while getting rid of a review of Evil Riggs (It got on my nerves and it sounded like nagging). Sorry about that pal. I like the suggestions from the reviews. Also, I remember someone asking me to put Bender as Jim. I didn’t know who Jim was until now. Unfortunately, I got someone in that role already but luckily, I can still put Bender in a role according beer.

Anyway, time to meet the main villain of this fic with his assistant.

Chapter 2: Mr. Burns's Land Snatching Scheme

A while after Pete and Team Rocket's 'accident', a meeting takes place in an office in the state's capital. It is the office that has a sign on the door that's labeled, "Montgomery Burns: Attorney General, Assistant to Governor State Procurer".
"See, boss? This is where we found the goddamn quicksand." explains a familiar voice.
Inside the office, Pete, who recovered with bandages on his head, is talking to someone while pointing to the map of the area where the railroad is going to be at. It is an old bald man with some hair at the side of his head. He wears a blue-green suit, a white button up shirt underneath, a black tie, and black shoes. His name is Montgomery Burns, or Mr. Burns as he demands to be called. He is the governor's assistant as well as the attorney general.
Standing by Burns is his assistant. He's a man in his forties with hair turning gray. He wears glasses, a button-up shirt, a brown jacket, a red bow tie, gray pants, and brown shoes. His name is Waylon Smithers.
Mr. Burns drums his fingers together as he said, "Quicksand, you say? Excellent."
"We got to move the railroad through Rock Ridge, see." explains Pete pointing at the map some more.
"Yeah, we saw it. You say, Rock Ridge?" asked Smithers arching an eyebrow.
"You heard me right! Rock Ridge, Rock Ridge! Yes!"
"Knock it off!" snapped Burns cutting Pete's excitement short. As he goes over to his desk, the old man smirks as he said, "Hmmm...my mind is glowing with many modes of thought, all at once."
"Ditto," Pete said grinning.
"Ditto?" asked Smithers puzzled.
"Ditto?! You dumbass cat!" snapped Burns. "Smithers!"
Smithers nods as he kicks Pete in the groin making him yelp. It was then that Pete makes a point not to say ‘ditto’ in front of the Attorney General again.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to." said Pete recovering from the pain.
"Hmmm...now then, we need a plan..." said Burns looking at the map. Suddenly a falling noise is heard outside making Pete jump.
"What the hell is that?!" yelled Pete.
Burns gave a motion for Pete to go silence then goes to a curtain nearby. He moves it and opens up a window and looks outside. There's a gallows nearby criminals get hanged. Someone is gets a noose ready for the next damned criminal. It is a blue like being with yellow cuffs and Arabian like shoes in a hangman outfit wearing an eye patch over one eye. His name is Genie.

(Author's note: Yes folks, Genie is reprising his Hangman role from "Danny Hood: Heroes in Tights. Ironic since the actor who played that role in the original movie first played it in the original Blazing Saddles.)

"Your turn now!" said Genie as he puts the rope around the criminal's neck. This next damned one is tricky as the criminal is in a wheelchair.
Burns opens his window and pokes his head out saying, "Genie!" Genie turned as the old man continued, "Keep it down, will ya? We are thinking!"
"Oh sorry, boss! We got two men home sick with the flu and I have to do this thing all by myself! I could try to keep it down but..." Genie sighs as he pulls the rope that is tied to the wheelchair man's rope. It is difficult to do so. "It is tricky."
Burns cringes as Genie kisses the damned criminal on the forehead. Seeing people doing that make him sick.
"I see. The Jigsaw murders. Try to keep it down." explained Burns. As he tries to get his head in, he yelps as he bangs his head on the window. He sighs as he finally got his head in fully and closed the window.
"Smithers, where are we now?" Burns asked his assistant. With the interruption, he is trying to remember.
"Uh, Rock Ridge, sir." explained Smithers.
"Right. Rock Ridge. Oh yes. The railroad will go through there and when it does, the land will worth a lot, and I want it!" Smithers sighs as Mr. Burns held onto a woman holding a money bag statue that is on a table. The assistant wishes his boss can hold him like that. You see, Smithers got a crush on Burns. The old man, unaware of Smithers's depressed look, continued, "The land is mine, I can taste it."
Pete nearly gagged as Burns now touch the statue in a way that I dare don't mentioned here.
"But how?" asked Burns frowned. Pete, who wasn't looking, bumps into a bookshelf causing a book to nearly hit his boss. "You clumsy ass cat!"
"It was an accident, see? Don't hurt me!" yelped Pete in concern.
"What almost hit me?"
"Oh, just the book on legal precedents." explained Smithers picking the book up.
Burns's eyes widen as he said eagerly, "Of course! There might be one!" He grabs the book from Smithers. "Land snatching! It should work!" He flips through the book as Smithers and Pete watch. "Land...land...'See Snatch'." Burns flipped some more pages then grins evilly. "Ah ha! Burns vs. U.S.A! Burns: 7. U.S.A.!" The old man gave the book back to Smithers as he drums his fingers once more as he said, "Excellent, it can be done."
"Uh sir? One problem," Smithers began to point out. "There is a town in Rock Ridge called Toon Town who has owners that can stop ya from getting your lands on the property."
"Damn it, you're right! If only there's a way of getting rid of me, maybe scare them off!" Pete got an idea and waves his hand trying to get Burns's attention. The old man didn't see him first as he continued, "I got to get rid of every one last of them if..."
Smithers noticed Pete raising his hand, then points out the door, "Down the hall, to the left."
"No, you stupid gay idiot!" snapped Pete in annoyance. As Burns turned to see what Pete is trying to say, the cat continued, "I got an idea, one that can work!"
"Well, don't stand there! Tell me!" Burns said impatiently. Whatever idea Pete got, Burns has to get it.
"We can kill every first born kid in every household!"
"Uh, that's too Jewish. Besides, Dreamworks would kill me if I used one of their ideas."
"Actually sir, their Prince of Egypt movie was based on Biblical events, so it should be them getting sued." explained Smithers.
"Hey I got a better one!" said Pete smirking. His first idea may have been turned down, but the next one got to convince Burns.
"It better be good!" snapped Burns in annoyance.
"My men and I can do a number six, see!!!"
"Number 6? What is that?"
Pete grins. Now he got Burns's attention, he continued, "We go riding into town, whapping and taking down anything in the way...well, except for the women."
"So you spare the women?" asked Burns arching an eyebrow.
Pete said, "Are you kidding me? Certainly not. We KIDNAP the women and have our way with them at the "Number Six" celebration dance. The only way mugs like us can ever get dates is if we take them by force."
"That's cruel!" yelped Smithers in disbelief.
"It's brilliant! You are so creative!" laughed Burns. He tries to hug Pete but he may the cat scream as he touches his wounded head. This is the first time the old man noticed the injury. "Why my dear God, you have been hurt Pete!"
"Aww, I ain't the only one, see? Team Rocket got injured. We got hit on the head with shovels and rocks by some damn freaks earlier today!" groaned Pete recovering. "They did it while we weren't looking. That's why I also came in here. I hope you could maybe do a favor like say...hang them by their frigging necks until they are dead! I locked them and two humans who tried to stopped us, Sora and Ariel, downstairs as I speak!"
"Very well. It shall be done." Burns chuckled evilly. After all, Pete gave him the perfect idea to force everyone out of Toon Town. Besides, attacking a government worker counts as a federal offense, right? The least he can do is repay the favor. The old man heads back to the woman and pokes his head out as he said, "Genie!"
The hangman is on his next victim: a man that is still on a horse (the horse is getting hanged too). Genie turned as Burns continued, "I got some specials for you. Any chance you could work them in?"
Genie made a schedule book appear and looks through it. "Well, according to my schedule, I'm booked. However, I don't have anyone on Monday. I can put them in then."
"Excellent. Monday it is." Burns tries to put his head back in but hits his head again. He groans as he got back inside his office and closes the window.
"You needed an ice pack, sir?" asked Smithers holding an ice pack in concern.
"No, you idiot! You forgot that because of my skin, I am immune to injuries and diseases!" Burns heads to Pete but hit the chandelier hanging overhead. "That too."
Pete, excited that the freaks whose attack him and Team Rocket are going to be hang, "Yes, yes! Thank you, Mr. Burns! Rest assure, we will take Toon Town at Rock Ridge and made that town thinks it's a deer caught in a car's nuts!"
"Car's nuts?" asked Smithers getting disgusted.
"Excellent!" laughed Burns. He and Pete laughs until a slam is heard making Pete jumped into the old man's arms. "There, there, Pete. It's just a man and a horse getting hang out there." To calm the cat down, he 'doo-doo' for him."

We now go to the town of Toon Town that is quiet with the citizens living there going on their every day lives. As events happen, a chorus begins to sing.

Chorus: There was once a peaceful place called Rock Ridge
where people lived in harmony,
They never had no kind of trouble,
There was no hint of misery.

At the bar, people are either drinking, playing cards, or gambling. Cows are in there.
"Moooo!" said Toot Braunstein looking bored.

The town saloon was always lively
But never nasty or obscene
Behind the bar stood Spanky Hamm
He always kept things nice and clean.

A poorly animated pig named Spanky Ham was spitting on the cup he was cleaning. He cleans it once more then burps. Something some noises are heard alarming him as things are about to get nasty.

And all at once the trouble started

Sure enough, things go crazy. Pete, Jack Spicer, Team Rocket, and a few bad guys rode into town on horses causing trouble. They plan to make sure Burns's plan will work no matter what.

A pack of murderers and thieves

Pete laughs as he fires bullets into the guys while more of them take out the ropes.

Like swarms of locusts they descended

Screaming like a bunch of babies, the citizens run with some of the attackers in pursuit.

Their aim to make the townsfolk flee.

One citizen runs then jumps into a window trying to escape the outlaws. Sadly it was only temporarily as he got throw out by an outlaw named Yuck the Rabbit. He got up and runs with James in pursuit. Jessie, with Seviper's help, causes a building that wasn't finished yet to fall on some of the citizens, nearly killing them. Jack Spicer calls in his Jack Bots to keep the Incredibles, the town's local super heroes at bay.
"Darn it. I wish someone tells us when stuff like this happens!" groaned Mr. Incredible as his son got knocked down by a Jackbot.
Meowth laughs as he is chasing another citizen. Suddenly both they and the horse Meowth is riding fell and tripped in the muddy water. Pissed off, Meowth stood up and claws the man's face.
Another man was grabbed by Jessie's rope and was pulled away groaning, "And I just got this suit."
Another one of the baddies used a rope to knock an outhouse down. Eddy, who was taking a bath, noticed and screams like a girl covering himself up.
"Damn it! I hated it when bastards like them do that!" groaned Eddy in humiliation.
Meanwhile, an old woman named Granny was getting the hell beaten out of her by Yuck. While groaning, she looks at the camera saying, "Have you ever seen such cruelty?" Yuck shrugs and continues beating her up.
At the church later, the town was in there attending service as the chorus is finishing up their song.

Now is the time of great decision
Are we to stay or up and quit?
There's no avoiding this conclusion
Our town is turning into...

Suddenly an organ noise was heard cutting off the last word. Ed, who was sleeping at the keyboards, was waken up by Edd. Realizing what he's doing, the stupid boy said, "Oh sorry!"
As the song was done, a man near the reverend box clears his throat. He is a yellow skinned man in reverend's clothes. His name is Reverend Timothy Lovejoy.
"Be seated." The reverend said. Once they all sat down, the man continued, "We have a terrible time in our town lately. Our sheriff was killed, the Incredibles were helpless..."
"Hey, we are doing our best!" protested Dash in annoyance. He hates being called helpless.
"...Our crops had been burned to the grounds, the stores have been robbed, the people stampeded and the cattle raped."
"Eeew, and it was sick what they did to those poor cows." said Violet in disgust.
Lovejoy sighs as he continues, "We must do something and now." He pauses then begins to leave. "I say we're screwed so I'm leaving."
"Now hold it right there, you pansy ass!" This is coming from a robot sitting in the front row. He is a gray robot with two black squares in his yellow eyes with three fingers on each hand and an antenna on the top of his head with a small cabinet door on his chest and his feet were round. His name is Bender, AKA the town drunk.
As the reverend went back, Bender snaps angrily, "No way in hell am I leaving here! I was made, raised her, and hell I am going to die here!"
"Ahem!" said Toot drinking some beer like...well, a cow.
"And if those assholes wanted me done, then I say they can bite my metal shiny ass!"
Bender, finished, sat down. A pause, then someone else stood up. He is a man with black hair, a greenard leotard suit with yellow capes and blue boots. His name is Captain Hero.
"Who can argue with something like that? Bender has the courage to state what must be done, and he did it well!" said Captain Hero proudly. "I'm glad the children are here to hear that speech."
"Speak for yourself!" snapped Sawyer Cat as she covers her son Oliver's ears while the father, Danny, crossed his arms in annoyance.
"Anyway, it may sound like crap coming from a drunken robot but damn it, it shows what courage little seen in this day!" The crowd nodded as he continued, "What are we made up? Our ancestors, from whatever planet they're are from, came across the land and fought the cartoon freaks, drought, locusts, and even Dix! Remember when Andy Dix came here and try to take over?!"
"Uh, that's Andy Dick, not Andy Dix." Foxxy Love pointed out rolling her eyes.
Ignoring Foxxy, the captain continued, "We didn't give up then and we aren't going to now!"
The crowds cheers. They got to admit, Captain Hero got a point. As he sat down, Spanky Hamm stood up in determination as he said, "He got a point! Are we cowards or heroes? Let's stay and fight it out!"
"Damn straight!" agreed Bender.
"The demon pig is right about the big retard being right." agreed Ling-Ling in Japanese. "No way I am giving up my battle arena where I kill people everywhere for nothing!"
"Like what did he say," asked Xandir P. Wifflebottom confused. Nearly everyone understood a word Ling-Ling is saying.
A girl stood up. She is a thirteen-year-old Asian girl. She had freckles, brown eyes, long raven hair with a pink strand, and she is a green t-shirt (in which the rims of her sleeves were red, and the collar of her shirt was red, and there was a symbol on the front that looked like a red dragonfly), along with a brown wristband (which had purple gems on it) on her right wrist, along with a brown belt with a yellow belt buckle, blue jeans, and brown shoes. Her name is Juniper Lee AKA June, the town's Te Xuan Ze.
"They all got a point." said June nodding. "Unless we fight these goons, we are going to be branded cowards for the rest of our lives! Ling-Ling is right! We're staying!"
"Thank you, honorable fellow Asian." said Ling-Ling bowing. Bender rooted as everyone sat down.
"Fine, I supposed we could stay," Lovejoy then mumbled, "Which is a dumbass move, by the way," He spoke up normally, "We will. However, if the Incredibles are going to need some help, we need a new sheriff. Any takers?"
Almost everyone in the room looks nervous. Being sheriff beings someone will be in charge of the law and someone who will be likely to be killed by the criminals.
Although June isn't scared, she feels like she couldn't handle the bad guys on her own. Standing up, she said, "How about we wired the governor? He could send one."
"Yeah! Why the hell should we get our own men killed?!" demanded Toot. "Especially since the guys I wanted to sleep with got killed in the last few days!"
"Eew, Toot! No one wants to hear that!" said Xandir grossed out a bit.
"I vote toast!" said Ed stupidly holding up some toast.
"Ed, sssh!" said Edd with a frown.
"Juniper Lee is right." said Elastigirl nodded. "We should let the governor know."
"Yeah!" agreed the crowd. It is settled. They will call the governor and asked him to send the town a new sheriff...and maybe some extra help.
"Very well. Let us pray that our new sheriff will arrive safely." said Lovejoy. "Everyone, please stand." They do so as they continued, "It's time we read from the books of Matthews, Mark, Luke, and..."
Without warning, a nearby window breaks as a stack of dynamite was tossed into the room.
"And duck, you morons!" yelped Lovejoys as everyone duck while the dynamite itself blew up.

The governor himself is very busy in his office today having a meeting. The sign on his door said, "Bigweld-Governor."
Inside the office, the people, consists of mostly robots surprisingly, are talking, one of them is eyeing while drooling at a robot who has a big bottom named Aunt Fanny. The person seems to be some sort of big robot with a big round body. His body is black and silver. His name is Bigweld, the greatest robot of all time and the governor.
"We must do something!" yelled someone in the room.
As Bigweld continues what he is doing, Mr. Burns and Smithers came up. The assistant taps Bigweld's shoulder saying, "Excuse me, Governor Bigweld?"
The robot turns his attention from Aunt Fanny, who is liking what he is doing, to Burns as theold man said, "If I may bother you for a moment. I just need you to sign this," He shows some papers to Bigweld with the bottom saying 'Sign Here, Stupid'. "There is where you need to sign."
"So what is it I am signing?" asked Bigweld curiously as he takes a pen. He wants to know before he makes any mistakes...which he usually makes BTW.
"Oh nothing. Just a bill which will allow us to steal 200,000 acres of Indiana territory which is very unsafe for them. What children."
"But sir. I thought..." Smithers begin to speak up but his boss hushed him.
"Right, right. 200,000 acres," Bigweld looks alarmed as he realized what Burns just said. "200,000?! What will it cost?!"
"Oh a box of these." Burns said taking out a box that holds a lot of paddleballs.
"You're crazy! They won't go for it..." Bigweld pauses then picks a paddleball up as he said, "Then again, maybe they will. They loved toys for crazy weirdoes. May I try one?"
"Why go ahead."
Bigweld plays with the paddleball and tries to whack the ball. He frowns as he said, "Come on, come on! Ohhh, why must I be experienced with dominoes yet not with paddleballs," Glaring at Smithers who picks up a paddleball, Bigweld said to Burns, "Burns, these things are out of order!"
"Well, they look fine to me." said Smithers as he plays with the paddle ball. The governor looks annoyed as Smithers hits the paddleball without any problems. He looks a bit jealous.
Bigweld grabs the paddleball from Smithers as he said, "No one likes showoffs."
"Just needs your signatures." insisted Burns. He points to a part saying, "Right here."
"All right. Help me, will ya?"
"Smithers!"
Smithers sigh as he assists Bigweld in writing his own name. As Bigweld does, he mumbled, "Work, work, work, day after day." He turns to Aunt Fanny's bottom as he said, "Hello booty! Missed ya!"
"Oh you." giggled Aunt Fanny.
"And one more." said Burns grinning as he gave Bigweld another bill. His attempts to make Bigweld signed without reading the papers through worked as usual.
"What the hell is this?" asked Bigweld looking at the second bill curiously.
"Oh, it will turn the Arkham Asylum into the 'Bigweld Memorial Arkham Casino."
"But this..." Bigweld yelps as he almost trips but Smithers caught him in time. The governor grins as he said, "Why not? The insane gambler can always get more treated better."
"Yes sir. Very good." agreed Smithers nodding.
As the men applauded while Bigweld signs the paper, the robot now said, "Thank you very much, George Burns."
"Uh, it's Montgomery Burns." Smithers pointed out in concern.
"It's Mr. Burns!" snapped Burns angrily. He prefers Mr. Burns!
Bigweld chuckles as he gets up showing his undies to everyone, unknown to himself, as he said, "Come on. Why are you worried about that crap? This is 1874, you can be able to sue him!"
Everyone laughs in amusement. Mr. Burns groans in annoyance. As Bigweld motions everyone else to be quiet, he sat down and goes back to signing.
"Help me, will ya?" asked Bigweld without looking up.
"Think of your secretary." said Smithers helping the governor once more.
"Very good," Bigweld finished Burns's deed of signing stuff. As he puts the pen away, he speaks up, "Very good suggestion. So what is next on the agenda?"
"We just got this, sir." said Aunt Fanny showing a telegram to Bigweld. "It is from Toon Town in Rock Ridge that came in last Friday."
"Why didn't you say something?! What does it say?!"
Bigweld lie near Aunt Fanny (for the obvious reasons) as the female robot begins to read the paper, "Our sheriff got killed. The church meeting got bombed big time. Someone got to end our troubles. We need new sheriff at once."
"Hey sir, isn't that..." Smithers begin to say.
"Quiet!" hissed Burns angrily. He doesn't like where this is going. Toon Town is not leaving their home and now they needed a new sheriff!
Shocked, Bigweld stood up as he yelled, "Holy obvious used up catchphrases! The sheriff is dead?! Women and kdis are getting blown up! We got to do something to keep our jobs most preferred to be given to humans safe! Something must be done!" Bigweld slams a hand down as he continued, "Right now, right now, right now!"
Everyone hrumph in agreement. Bigweld frowns as he points to someone saying, "That guy didn't give me a 'hrumph'!"
"Smithers!" Burns snapped.
Smithers nods as he picks up a flamethrower saying, "Give the governor a 'hrumph' or you go to the Chop Shop!"
"Hrumph!" yelped the robot in fear.
"Watch your ass in the future!" snapped Bigweld with a sigh.
"Well then, if we're all in agreement." Burns begins to say.
"Which we are."
"Well assure you that as Attorney General, I will get Toon Town a sheriff to keep the peace at all cost." Smithers picks up a paddleball as his boss continues, "The meeting is adjourned." He taps on Bigweld's desk and gave a pretend gasp. "Oh sorry. I overstep my bounds accidentally. You are supposed to say that."
"Say what?" asked Bigweld puzzled.
"Meeting is adjourned." Smithers said.
"It is?"
"You say that, Bigweld." Burns reminded him. Bigweld can be a bit forgetful.
"Say what?" asked Bigweld confused now.
"Meeting is adjourned." Smithers repeated with a sigh.
"It is?! How come no one told me?!"
Burns rolls his eyes. He has enough for now. He gave the robot a paddleball as he said, "Play with this. It is a big hit."
"Oh, thanks, George Burns!" said Bigweld smiling as he takes the paddleball.
"It's Mr. Burns!"
"It is?" Bigweld shrugs as he picks out some more paddleballs. "Here guys, give these out to those in lieu of pay. Here you Rodney, Fender, Cappy, Piper, Crank," He grins as he gave another one to Aunt Fanny who takes it happily, "And to Ms. Fanny, my big bottomed secretary. Play with these in lieu of the other things."
The robots nodded as they played with the paddle balls. Bigweld tries to work it but he keeps missing the ball. He groans as he said, "This frigging thing is a defect! How come I always get a damn defect?!"

Author's note
Looks like Toon Town is going to get themselves a new sheriff, but who will it be? (Do you really need an answer for that?) How will Mr. Burns used this to his advantage? And...no more questions. Read and review and keep those suggestions coming in, folks!