BAHS Episode 6

WARNING: The following story got language and some adult f**king crap, its content should not be read by anyone. But you will read it anyway so head on!

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(We see the usual paper and the words 'Teen Girl Squad' appear, along with some characters being shown)

Narrator Strong: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! So and So! What's Her Face! The Ugly One!

(We cut to the girls hanging out)

Cheerleader: Hey girls! We're looking...

Other Girls: So good!

Cheerleader: Does anyone want to know what happened the last time on Bucky and Heather Schmos?

So and So: No.

What's Her Face: Nope.

Ugly One: Uhh....

Cheerleader: (annoyed) Well tough! I am going to tell you whatever you want to hear it or not!

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EPISODE 5 RECAP
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Paulina: Hola! I'm here on this show at last!

Paulina: (C.S.) Hey everyone. Wow, I can't believe that I'm on the show at last! This is a great miracle. After I failed to get Danny, I figure I could get a hunk in this one!

Strong Bad: Welcome to the show, Paulina. I hope you like it here in the manor.

Cheerleader: (V.O.) Paulina becomes the new Heather Schmo. She's cool...I guess.

Earthworm Jim: Heather?

(Heather smiles as she steps forward as the worm hold out a rose.)

Earthworm Jim: So how about it?

Heaher: Sure, why not?

Heather: (C.S.) Luckily, the guys decide to make sure not to get rid of me earlier. I still got airtime to fill here.

(Trixie looks down in pretend disappointment as she isn't called forward.)

Trixie: I guess this means that I didn't get a rose.

Earthworm Jim: Yeah, sorry, Trixie.

Trixie: No problems. I can live through it. I am still popular for being on this show and a beautiful one. So in any case, I can go now.

Cheerleader: (V.O.) Heather became the next to go...

Frankie: Bucky?

(Bucky grins as he steps forward to Frankie)

Bucky: I think you got my answer, babe. Yes, I will have the ring.

Frankie: Okay, but try not to go Gollum on it.

Bucky: Who, me?

(Bucky takes the ring and puts it on. Tigger looks disappointed (or pretending to anyway).)

Tigger: Awww, does this mean that I'm out?

Frankie: Yeah, sorry but I got enough imaginary friends as it is.

Tigger: Well, fair enough I guess. I guess this is TTFN! Ta Ta For Now! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

(Tigger bounces out of the room, much to the group's notice.)

Cheerleader: (V.O.)...as well as Tigger!

So and So: (V.O.) So when do we...

Cheerleader: (V.O.) Shaddup!

Paulina: So Heather...what does it feel like to be an actress?

Heather: (grins) Well, let's say that in my line of work: it isn't all that easy with the recent scandal.

Bucky: Scandal?

Heather: Something about a monkey, hell I don't know.

Bucky: (sweatdrop) That's weird.

(Bucky prepares to play a video game, but a gum bomb explodes in his face.)

Bucky: Eeeeeew!

Bowser Jr.: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Bowser Jr.: (C.S.) The pranker strikes again!

(Paulina notices Haruka smiles seductively at her.)

Paulina: Uh, what? Can I help you?

Haruka: You're sexy than any of the other girls I have seen!

Paulina: (grins) Why thank you.

Haruka: How about we go to my room for the 'one two'?

Paulina: (puzzled) What?

Haruka: Come on! Let's take each other clothes off and do it!

Paulina: (shocked) You want me to have sex?! But I'm straight!

Haruka: Come on, let's experiment with the gay girl!

Paulina: Okay, I'm backing away now...backing right...away.

Heather: (grins) Don't knock it. I have done it too.

Paulina: AAAAAARRRRGH!

Heather: (C.S.) Okay, not really. It's part of the script. Hell, even some actresses are bisexuals.

Cheerleader: (V.O.) Heather shows off her new groove thing.

(A while later, the boys and Haruka (and their teammates) are in their karts with balloons floating around, all of them are ready.)

KOT: One for the money, two for the show, three to get...

Strong Mad: GO!

KOT: Gah!

(The fighters and their drivers rode around quickly, trying to hit one another. Bucky tries to fire at his opponent, only to miss.)

Bucky: Damn, I miss!

Paulian: Gah!

(Suddenly Haruka fires a shell at Bucky, hitting him and making the cat loses one of his balloons in the progress.)

Haruka: Gotcha!

Bucky: Crapo!

(Bender drops banana peels as Heather drives around. Bowser Jr. 'unknowingly' slips on a banana peel, causing him to slip around and lose one of his balloons.)

Bender: Ha ha ha!

Bowser Jr.: Damn you!

Sarah: Wheeee! Let's crash into people!

(Sarah suddenly crash into the other cars, hitting them before rushing off.)

Sarah: Hit and run!

Bucky: You're lucky that our balloons didn't fall off! Take this!

(Bucky fires a homing shell at Sarah but it swirls around and hits the cat instead, causing him to lose another balloon.)

Bucky: Awwww!

Cheerleader: (V.O.) The challenge which was rigged by the gang has allowed Bender to make it to the next round!

(Bowser Jr. and Sarah came in, in costumes)

Bowser Jr.: Aha! We got ya, Agent Brat!

Paulina: (confused) What?!

Heaher: Oh crap! It's the KGB!

Bucky: No way! Those guys are disbanded!

Sarah: Not to us! Time to die!

(Sarah holds us a lot of axes, causing the two real players to scream and wetting themselves. Heather of course chuckles.)

Heather: Relax, it's just a scene for the movie that I'm rehearsing.

Bucky: R-really?

Bowser Jr.: Yep! Man, you guys thought it was a real? You wet yourself!

Sarah: (slashes at the two) Whack them, whack them!

Paulina: Hey, the scene is over, Sarah!

Sarah: (grins evilly) Who said that I was acting?

(The two yelps as they run away with Sarah chasing them madly.)

Sarah: Come back, so I can eat you!

Heather: (C.S.) Yeah, Sarah is really getting into her psychopath role. At least nothing bad will...

(Heather yelps as she spots a lot of bodies in the confession room)

Heather: (C.S.) Damn it, Sarah! Stop leaving your bodies in here!

Cheerleader: (V.O.) Acting goes too far as usual!

Frankie: All right...Bowser Jr.

Haruka: (shocked) What?!

Bowser Jr.: (grins) Yes!

(The Koopaling goes up to Frankie who gave him the last rose)

Frankie: I suppose I don't need to say this, but will you accept this rose?

Bucky Jr.: Damn straight! Yes, I am in!

Haruka: (frowns) You rejected me?! It's because I'm gay, is it?! TELL ME!

Frankie: Sorry, but I'm straight! I don't do lesbians!

Haruka: Oh that is it! This show is being so racist! I got rejected by a girl I know that I will be with!

Strong Bad: (bored) Strong Mad!

(Strong Mad grabs Haruka and throws her out.)

Haruka: (V.O.) AND THIS IS RACIST TOO, BITCH!

Cheerleader: (V.O.) Haruka got voted out but one problem is revealed afterwards.

Homestar: (whispers) Uhhhhh, we couldn't get the families.

Strong Bad and Marzipan: (whispers/shocked) What?!

Homestar: (whispers) I didn't have time to give them the scripts and such due to the fact that we got reboot and so forth. I was...busy.

Coach Z: Yeah, sleeping under a locker. Oh wait, that's me.

Strong Bad: (frowns) Crap!

Paulina: (concerned) Hey, what's wrong?

Marzipan: (sheepishly) Oh nothing...we will tell you about it later. (Whispers to Homestar) That's it, Homestar, we're over.

Homestar: (annoyed) Again?!

**************

Cheerleader: Anyway, the gang needs some new script or challenges, pronto.

What's Her Face: So what do we do then?

Cheerleader: Just watch and see what happens!

So and So: Word!

What's Her Face: Word!

Ugly One: (confused) Wait, isn't this the part where we...

(The words 'The End' fall onto the four, crushing them dead)

Narrator Strong Bad: THE END'D!

Ugly One: I have to go and jinx it!!!!

Narrator Strong Bad: (laughs cruelly)

(We see the words 'It's Over' appearing)

Narrator Strong Bad: It's over! Wait, I mean the comic book! It's beginning! Roll the credits!

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(We see shot of Bucky)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) This is Bucky, the cat pussy from "Get Fuzzy".

(We now see a shot of Paulina)

Marzipan: (V.O.) And Paulina, the airhead Danny Phantom not-so-love interest from the same series.

(We see the front of the mansion with the words "Lovely Matchmaker" appearing)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) For the next 9 days, these two bozos will be on the show that is...FAKE!!!

(We see the logo shattering into pieces before we see the actors)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) We have gathered some actors consist of characters from various shows chosen specifically for their personality traits and the what not. They will give even those two a run for their money. Here are our actors...

(We see a shot of Earthworm Jim standing by the pool)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) Earthworm Jim from his own shows AKA "The Bachelor".

(We see Frankie listening to music as she listens to some music)

Marzipan: (V.O.) Miss Frances "Frankie" Foster, from "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends", as "The Bachelorette".

(Now we see Bowser Jr. burning down some stuff as he smirks)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) Bowser Jr., from the Mario series, as "The Pranker."

(Next we see Tigger hopping happily on his tail like a moron)

Marzipan: (V.O.) Tigger, from the Winnie the Pooh franchise as "The Moron".

(After that, we see Haruka wearing men's clothes as she drinks.)

Marzipan: (V.O.) Haruka Tenoh, from the Sailor Moon franchise" as "The Gotta Be Gay Girl".

(We see Bender drinking a lot of booze and belching)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) Bender, from "Futurama", as "The Drunk."

(After that, we see Bobcat the Wolf touching asses as he rush off)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) Bobcat the Wolf, from the last episode of "Tales from the Crypt", as "The Stalker."

(We see Sarah smirking madly as she holds up a chainsaw.)

Marzipan: (V.O.) Sarah Goodman, from "Flint The Time Detective" as "The Psychopath".

(We see Trixie looking at herself in a mirror as she smirks)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) Trixie Tang, from "The Fairly OddParents", as "The Heiress."

(We see Princess doing some screaming and bitching to the camera)

Marzipan: (V.O.) Princess Morbcuks, from "Powerpuff Girls", as "The Bitch."

(We see a grinning Heather planning something big)

Marzipan: (V.O.) Heather, the former Schmo turns actress for this series.

(Now we see the hosts themselves with their cast smiling.)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) And us, Strong Bad and Marzipan I guess, and the rest as "The Pompous Hosts" and the rest.

(Now we see crazy ass scenes from the series so far)

Strong Bad: (V.O.) How long before Bucky and Paulina can go through the gamen without figuring it out?

Bucky: (shocked) What the f**king hell?!

Paulina: What?!

Marzipan: (V.O.) Find out on Bucky and Heather Schmos! Yeah, we're keeping the title.

Strong Bad: (V.O.) Shut up!

*******

WHO'S STILL IN THE HOUSE

BUCKY
PAULINA
HEATHER
SARAH GOODMAN
BENDER
BOWSER JR.

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EPISODE 6: SCRIPT? WHO NEEDS IT?
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CAST MEETING
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(In a trailer, we see the cast looking shocked a bit)

Heather: What?!

Bowser Jr.: (frowns) There's no script for the next part of this show? I thought we were doing the families thing!

Strong Bad: (frowns) Yeah, but Dumbstar here mess it by not contacting anyone in time.

Homestar: Have they voted yet???

Heather: Oh great! You mean this show is at a standstill!

Marzipan: Folks, we can fix this. We just need to do...stuff...offscript, yeah.

Sarah: (grins) You mean, let us be ourselves and continue terrorizing the Schmos?

Coach Z: If you want, yeah.

Sarah: Sweeeet!

Strong Bad: Look, until we figure out what the crap we would do, not a word to Bucky and Paulina, got it?

Bender: We still one hell of a job so far...minus Heather, of course.

Heather: Yeah. (notices) Uh oh. Time to go.

Marzipan: Back to the show, everyone.

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Bucky: (C.S.) Okay, okay. This is really weird. Most of the players are nervous for some reason. Hell, even I see Frankie and Earthworm Jim so damn nervous. It's like they mess something up.

(Inside the dining room, Bucky came in to sit next to Frankie.)

Bucky: Sooooo, Frankie. When will we see our families? I heard we usually do that stuff.

Frankie: Oh, who knows? Does your family seems...interesting?

Bucky: To be honest, who knows? They may give squat squash about me. They may don't.

Frankie: Or maybe JusSonic doesn't know how to use them since only Orange-Ratchet is experienced with ya.

Bucky: That could be.

Bowser Jr.: (V.O.) Hey!

(Bucky looks up to get a pie hitting his face)

Bucky: The hell?!

Bowser Jr.: Ha ha ha ha ha! Monkeys always look, monkeys always looks!

Bowser Jr.: (C.S.) You see? Even I can do stuff like that off script. We can make it, I just know we will.

(Outside a bathroom, Paulina frowns as she waits)

Paulina: Come on, Heather! You have been there for 2 hours!

Heather: (V.O.) Just a minute!

(Heather came in, grinning and satisfied)

Heather: You may use it now.

Paulina: (annoyed) About time!

(Paulina goes into the bathroom as Heather sinisterly grins.)

Heather: (quietly) Three, two, one...

Paulina: (V.O.) AHHHHHHHHHH!

(Paulina came out, with her toothbrush ruined)

Paulina: (pissed) What happened to my toothbrush?!

Heather: Oh, I was using it...to clean in my man hole!

Paulina: (shocked) What?!

Heather: Sorry. I got crabs down there. I was itching.

Paulina: Eeeeeew! I should tell the hosts on you!

Heather: (playfully) Sorry, no rules about using a toothbrush on your own crabs, even someone else's.

Paulina: Ugh!

Paulina: (C.S.) Can you believe that bitch?! She used my toothbrush on her man hole for crabs! I'm going to have cavities, I guarantee it!

(We see Bender and Sarah drinking, laughing madly)

Bender: (Drunk) Oh boy, this game and show has been cool ass so far!

Sarah: (drunk) Y-y-yep! I know where the bodies are...literally! I buried corpses in Paulina's room.

Paulina: (V.O.) AHHHHHHH!

Sarah: Yep! She found them!

Bender: Ha ha ha ha! Kick ass! Let's f**k!

Sarah: Okay!

(The two screw one another like mad.)

Bender: (C.S.) Yeah, that was off script. Luckily, we went off camera to avoid lawsuits. I hope we find a challenge to meet my expectations.

Sarah: (C.S.) Where's Bender? Bender, honey? I want to screw the 'bot some more!

(In the bathroom, Paulina sat down to do her business which is censored. Of course, she tries to get up but find herself stuck)

Paulina: (shocked) What the...?! Hey!

Paulina: (C.S.) Okay, I was sitting on the toilet and try to get up....but I'm stuck! Some smart ass glued me to the hot seat!

(Paulina screams in annoyance. We see her on the monitors as the hosts and cast watch, laughing madly)

Strong Bad: Oh man! That is soooooo cool!

Coach Z: Yeah, nice jorb, Bowser Jr.

Bowser Jr.: (grins) I love making pranks.

Strong Bad: Strong Mad, get her off. You will see naked.

Strong Mad: (Grins) YAY!

The Cheat: (hopefully) Meh meh meh meh meh?

Strong Bad: Eh, go ahead.

The Cheat: (excited) Meh meh!

Heather: (C.S.) Okay, we don't have any scripts prepared...but the next one I thought up in my cute little head.

(We see the gang in the game room, playing, as a pissed off Paulina came in.)

Paulina: Okay, Bowser Jr. Very funny!

Bowser Jr.: What is?

Paulina: You glued me on the toilet seat! Two strong guys have to come in and break me out! Actually, that I don't mind but the fact that I got stuck on the goddamn toilet in the first place doesn't help!

Heather: (grins) Actually, that was me.

Paulina: (shocked) What?!

Heather: What? He thinks Bowser Jr. was the only one who pranks people? I do that on my show and movie sets all the time.

Paulina: (pissed) Oh, all of the...stupid movie bitch!

Bucky: (girns) Ooooh, this is going to get good.

Paulina: How dare you! If it weren't against the rules, I would kick your ass!

Heather: Don't let that stop you, whore!

Paulina: (pissed) All right, you asked for it!

(Paulina winds up and throws a punch at Heather but yelps as she hurts her punch. As she feels her hand, we see that Heather is wearing armor.)

Heather: Didn't ask I would let you hit me, did I?

Paulina: (anger mark) Grrrrrr!

Paulina: (C.S.) Okay, next time around, that brat is so dead! No one makes a fool out of me and gets away with it!

Heather: (C.S.) Truth here is that Bowser Jr. really did do the glue stuck prank on Paulina. I just took the credit to see what happens. (Grins) Man, am I going to rock this fake show big time.

(A while later, in the courtyard, the hosts appear as the players and actors wait)

Paulina: So are we ready to see our families?

Marzipan: Uh, no.

Bucky: Huh?

Strong Bad: Yeah...turns out that they're...busy right now. So we're going to do something different. Something way out of line.

Strong Mad: MUD WRESTLING!

Strong Bad: (annoyed) No, Strong Mad! We ain't doing that!

Strong Mad: BUT I WANT TO SEE SOME DIRTY FIGHTING!

Strong Bad: Ahem, our replacement challenge is to see if you have what it takes to take your lover down in the event he or she gets possessed or goes under mind-control.

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CHALLENGE 7: LOVE HURTS

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Homestar: Here how this works: three boys will go against Frankie. Three girls will fight Earthworm Jim.

(We see the mentioned actors in gear and holding weapons)

Earthworm Jim: This is going to be groovy.

Frankie: Let me have at them.

Strong Bad: Ladies first so the girls will fight Earthworm Jim next in alphabetical order.

Marzipan: The idea is that whoever stays up the longest against their loved one wins.

Sarah: (C.S.) I know that I will win this challenge! I am going to terrorize Earthworm Jim until he begs for mercy! BUT I WON'T GIVE HIM ANY!!!!

Bucky: (C.S.) Okay, I know I have some fighting experience but fighting Frankie? Kinda harsh but I am willing to try anything at this point.

Bender: (C.S.) Okay, since Homestar f**k up the script, we are going off script here. In other words, whoever wins will be a mystery even to us!

Strong Mad: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

The Cheat: Meh meh!

(Fight 1: Heather)

(Heather quickly fights off Earthworm Jim, dodging his blaster and his head whips.)

Heather: All right, dodging! Is that the best you can do?

Earthworm Jim: Nope! This is!

(Earthworm Jim trips Heather down to the ground, pinning her down)

Marzipan: Fight's over! Heather, you lasted about 6 minutes. Let's see if anyone can beat your record.

(Fight 2: Sarah)

(Earthworm Jim screams as Sarah chases him with a chainsaw for what appears to be a long time. Only when the hero throws a bomb at her, was she knocked out.)

Marzipan: That fight lasted...20 minutes! I like to see someone best that!

(Fight 3: Paulina)

(Paulina charges at Earthworm Jim who prepares himself)

Earthworm Jim: Get ready! Gro...

(The hero hits Paulina, knocking her to the ground unconscious)

Earthworm Jim: (surprised)...ovy?

Marzipan: 2 minutes. Sorry, Paulina. Sarah wins.

Sarah: (C.S.) All right, this scripted action is...unscripted. Wow, does that suck or what? Oh well, good prize.

Homestar: Time for the boys!

(Fight 4: Bucky)

(Bucky hisses as he fights Frankie who attacks him with her weapons and other attacks)

Bucky: Sorry, Frankie, but it's for your own good.

Frankie: Whose? Mine or yours?

(After a while, Frankie finally traps Bucky in a net, pinning him to the ground)

Bucky: Damn it!

Strong Bad: Okay 7 minutes. Not bad.

Bucky: Thanks. Can I get unnetted down?

(Fight 5: Bender)

Bucky: Hello? Still netted.

(Bender smirks as he held his own against Frankie for a few minutes or so. Soon Frankie zaps him with an electric pod, knocking him down to the ground in defeat.)

Marzipan: 7 minutes. It's a tie. If Bowser Jr. can't beat that time, we will have a tie showdown.

(Fight 6: Bowser Jr.)

(Bowser Jr. fights off against Frankie with his own special attacks, using whatever tools or tricks he got up his sleeve, as well as his special attacks. A while later, Frankie took him down)

Bowser Jr.: Ha! How did I do?

Marzipan: 9 minutes. Good work! You win!

Bowser Jr.: Yes!

Strong Bad: Well, good work, Sarah and Bowser Jr. You have won.

Heather: I hate to see what these two get from this incident.

Marzipan: For your reward, you get to go out to a restaurant that doesn't block off manic killers or prankers.

Sarah: Sweet!

Bowser Jr.: Let's do this!

(The two grabs the 'bachelor/bachelorette' and rush off with them.)

Frankie: Whoa!

Earthworm Jim: Hey, calm yourself, Sarah! (Realizes) Crap, what am I saying?

Coach Z: (pauses) Well, that's enough unscripted stuff for one day.

Bender: Right. Back to the mansion.

(Everyone heads back into the mansion, minus Sarah, Bowser Jr., Frankie and Earthworm Jim. Well, also minus one certain cat still trapped in a net)

Bucky: Hey, can someone get me out? Hello?

(A while later, Bucky, out of the net, was reading in the library)

Bucky: (C.S.) Okay, after a while, I claw myself out of that damn net. How could they just leave me there? Oh, I know. They hate spam! Spam freaks, all of them.

(Bucky yelps as he looks up to see Heather and Paulina fighting each other with spam like mad)

Heather: Bitch!

Paulina: Traitorous whore!

Bucky: Noooooooo! Not the spam!

(The two throw spam at each other, getting the room dirty in the progress. Bender came in, smirking)

Bender: Let me join in! Ha ha ha ha ha!

(Bender uses a flamethrower to send flames at the girls, making them dodge. Soon the whole room is in ruins, with the spam.)

Bucky: (bawling) Why must you hate spam?!

Bender: I can't eat so how the hell should I know? (Drinks some beer)

Bender: (C.S.) None of this is by script, folks. Just something to pass the time, that's all.

Paulina: (glares) You're a dead girl later.

Heather: (shrugs) I'm shaking as it is. So I wonder which girls and boys will be in the final four. The winning ones get to be with Frankie and Earthworm Jim.

Bender: Hope it's me and not Bowser Jr.

Paulina: Right, and Sarah is too crazy for...

(Paulina notices Bucky eating the ashes madly)

Paulina: (disgusted) Eeeew! Stop that!

Bucky: Must...eat...spam!

Paulina: (C.S.) Ugh! Bucky is freaky man! He is obsessed with that spam stuff that got involved in the fighting.

Heather: At least Sarah and Bowser Jr. are on their dates right now. I wonder how they're doing.

(We see the mentioned two with Frankie and Earthworm Jim. The four are at a restaurant as Bowser Jr. drop ketchup on the floor, causing some employee to trip.)

Bowser Jr.: Whoops!

Frankie: (sweatdrop) Bowser Jr. You should be nice to the employees

Bowser Jr.: So your point is?

Waiter: (nervously) What shall we get for you, my dear?

Sarah: (grins madly) Yes...your heart on a fork!

Earthworm Jim: (sweatdrop) Hoo boy. This may have been a mistake even without the script.

(The next day, a while later, we see all the castaways, including the ones on the "date" with Earthworm Jim and Frankie)

Strong Bad: Okay, stupids. Time for the next challenge to see who makes it to the final four.

Frankie: (C.S.) Okay, folks, this time, we found the script that doesn't involve family at all. So this could still work still we memorize it. At least, I hope so.

Marzipan: Now then, for this challenge, we will be doing a Donald Duck.

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CHALLENGE: BLIND DUCKS
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Coach Z: Okay, we will blind ya three men or three girls and you will chase after the Bachelorette or the Bachelor. If you proceed, you will go to the next round with a rose or a medal or whatever.

Homestar: We will separate the boys from the girls or them vice versa during each challenge to avoid awkwardness.

Strong Bad: You should talk!

Homestar: I just did!

Marzipan: Time to begin. Ladies first.

(Heather, Sarah and Paulina are given blindfolds which they put on)

Sarah: Oh man, this is so cool. Even blind, I always get my blind!

Earthworm Jim: (worried) Hoo boy.

Paulina: It's like one big pinata chase after a birthday party!

Heather: (C.S.) Paulina doesn't know it but this time, this game is rigged! I will be winning this challenge of course. Man, this is going to kick ass.

Marzipan: Begin.

(The girls begin moving around a bit with Earthworm Jim avoiding the girls, not making a sound.)

Paulina: Okay...where are ya? Why am I not going anywhere? It feels like my feet are glued to the floor.

(Unknown to Paulina though, her feet is glued to the floor...literally. She isn't going anywhere. Bowser Jr. smirks devilishly as she held up a jar of glue.)

Bowser Jr.: Heh heh heh.

Sarah: I CAN SENSE YOU, JIMMY! HEE HEE HEE!

(Sarah rush away from the field very fast, much to everyone's surprise.)

Strong Bad: Insane brat is disqualified!

Bucky: (dryly) Is there no surprise there?

Other boys: Nope.

(Heather grins as she got closer to Earthworm Jim and grabs him.)

Earthworm Jim: Whoa!

Heather: I got him!

Marzipan: Heather wins!

(Paulina removes her blindfold and notices her feet glued to the ground)

Paulina: (annoyed) Hey! My feet are glued to the floor! No fair! I want a do over!

Coach Z: Sorry, no do overs in this game.

Paulina: Damn it! Junior!

Bowser Jr.: Har har har har!

(Earthworm Jim grins as he holds out an apple to Heather)

Earthworm Jim: So....Heather, wanna take this apple?

Heather: You betcha!

Heather: (C.S.) Now you folks want to know how I won in the rigged game. It's simple.

(We can see behind Heather's blindfold some sort of X-Ray device in a flashback. She uses it to track the hero's move, making her smirk)

Heather: (C.S.) And that's how I won.

Strong Bad: Okay, the stupid girls are done. Time for the boys to pay their dues.

(The boys put their blindfolds on as Frankie waits on.)

Frankie: Okay, boys. You ready?

Bucky: More than anything.

Bender: (C.S.) Okay, in this game, we decided to throw Bucky a few bread crumbs and let him win this challenge. But how will we do that? Well, wait and see.

(Bucky, Bender and Bowser Jr. wander around, trying to find Frankie. Bowser Jr. bumps into a wall a few times)

Bowser Jr.: I think I found her!

Strong Bad: Not even close, Junior!

Bender: Too bad my damn sensors are shut off. I would've found her by now. Crap.

Bucky: Okay, I think I can smell her perfume. (Sniffs sniffs) Found her!

(Bucky jumps and grabs Frankie's leg, laughing)

Bucky: Am I warm?

Frankie: (sweatdrop) Yeah...you can let go now.

Bucky: (removes blindfold) Too easy!

Frankie: (C.S.) I wore the perfume to help Bucky find me easily. He smells it before so...there you go.

(Frankie holds out a ball making Bucky eager)

Frankie: Want this ball to go to the next round?

Bucky: MINE!

(Bucky grabs ball and hold it obsessively)

Bucky: Mine, mine! My precious!

Heather: (sweatdrop) Creepy.

Marzipan: Well, good work to Heather and Bucky. They have made it to the final four. Though for the others, we will see you unluckily four in the ceremony round.

Homestar: Which we kicked two of you out and laugh at ya for no good reason.

Strong Bad: Actually, we just like to laugh at ya.

Most: Typical!

(It's time now for the fifth ceremony. We start with a slow-motion shot of all six contestants walking down the hall, individually, to Strong Bad's TV Room. Jim and Frankie were there as all nine contestants enter the room, eagerly awaiting the hosts, who comes down the stairs and takes their place in front of them.)

Marzipan: Welcome back, folks. The final four is now upon us. Two boys and two girls will go to the final four of our love fest. But two will be eliminated before today.

Strong Bad: In other words, screw ya, losers!

Marzipan: (Frowns) Strong Bad! Now then, Heather and Bucky has won and made it. Good work. Now to see who will win them in the final round.

(Earthworm Jim and Frankie held out a medal each.)

Strong Bad: All right, ladies first. Frankie, calls out the guy you want to stay with ya.

(Frankie nods as she glances at the remaining men: Bender and Bowser Jr. She knew what's going on according to script so only one will get his ass kicked out.)

*

*

*

Frankie: Bender.

Bender: (cheering) YES!

(Bender rushes over and take his rose from Frankie, kissing her on the mouth)

Frankie: Ick!

Bender: Eh, in your face, Junior!

Bowser Jr.: (frowns) Awww, damn it.

Frankie: Sorry, you are too young for me...and I need a man...bot.

Bowser Jr.: Fine! Whatever, but watch it. I may leave some gifts for you assholes before I leave!

(Bowser Jr. leaves, making the cast and real players worried)

Paulina: I don't like sounds of that, man.

Bowser Jr.: (C.S.) My script told me to say that. Kind of a way to shake Bucky and Paulina loose. Eh, it works.

Marzipan: Okay, now it's Earthworm Jim's turn. Jim?

(The earthworm glances at Paulina and Sarah, the only women left to choose. Shall he choose the psycho or the real girl. A pause)

*

*

*

Sarah: I GOT A HEAD FOR YA!

Jim: AAAAARGH! PAULINA, PAULINA!

Paulina: (grins) I knew it!

(Paulina came over and took the rose from Earthworm Jim, kissing him on the cheek)

Paulina: Thank you so much.

Jim: Hey, I don't want to end up with the psycho bitch!

Sarah: (outraged) WHAT?! AFTER ALL THESE TIMES, YOU WANT TO GET RID OF ME! I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!

Strong Bad: Security!

(Security shows up and quickly stuff Sarah in a bag, pulling her out of the game)

Sarah: (muffled) Revenge!

Bucky: Thank God that's over.

(Once Sarah's gone, Strong Bad spoke up)

Storng Bad: All right, rejects...and cool people I guess. Only four left. But only 1 boy and 1 girl will win the Bachelor and Bachelorette in the end!

Marzipan: Get some sleep. We got a big surprise ahead for you all.

(The cast left, looking pleased with themselves)

Coach Z: Sweet! We're almost done with this thing.

KOT: Oh boy, oh...uh, what are we doing again?

Marzipan: Boys, the big surprise of the show's fake secret is about to be revealed...

**********

Next time on Bucky and Heather Schmos...
*It's time for one final big date before the big finale.
*The final challenge to see who will win Jim and Frankie's heart...
*Or will they? Will the show finally be exposed?!
*And much more!