literature

MHT3K: I Love Mr. Bump part 2

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At the cafeteria, Mr. Rude looked at where the chalk reading was.

Mr. Rude: Ha! A Valentine's Lunch surprise?

[Loud: The surprise is what wasn't poisoned.]

Ha! I'm eager for the holiday meal, if it is good enough.

Outside the building, a delivery man looked at where Mr. Messy was.

Man: Where do you want these beef hearts?

[Harvey: (Mr. Messy) In the...in the...dear God, I'm drunk...]

Mr. Messy: Set 'em down on the floor.

Man: Doesn't look very clean.

Mr. Messy: Hey, some bacteria helps. Besides, I know a thing or two about

[Harvey: (Mr. Messy) Being dirty! Yahoo!]

food being used for cleaning. I'm sure the hearts can be used to clean floors, too.

The truck opened before down came the hearts. With Mr. Rude, he took a bite out of his sandwich while wearing a sweater. Just then, he yelped, clutching to his heart.

Mr. Rude: Oy! It hurts!

Conan: Mr. Rude, what's wrong?

Mr. Rude: My baboon heart....body...is rejecting it!

[Loud: (Mr. Rude) I sounded like...Kirk! Why must....Spock die?!]

Then, out popped a heart before the others screamed and Mr. Rude chuckled.

Mr. Rude: Young kids these days are stupid.

That afternoon, Miss Giggles waited while the students left the building.

[Harvey: She's waiting for the last banger.]

Then, she noticed Mr. Bump coming out. Then, Miss Giggles followed.

Miss Giggles: Can I walk you home...Valentine?

[Loud: (Harvey) My name is Norm McDonald.]

Mr. Bump: (concerned) Sure, I guess.

Miss Giggles: He-he-he. That Valentine card sure was funny.

Mr. Bump: (chuckles) I bet it was. Glad you liked it.

Miss Giggles: It says that you "choo-choo-choose me" and there's a picture of Thomas the Tank Engine.

[Harvey: Ugh, that isn't love. That's gay!]

Mr. Bump: Uh, yeah, nice gag.

After a moment, Miss Giggles looked at him.

Miss Giggles: So...do you like...the circus?

[Loud: Oh sure, every creepy girls love to save that.]

Mr. Bump: It's all right, though I'm trying not to think about that one act that got me and Miss Calamity in trouble.

Miss Giggles: It's like the whole "Mr. Funny is a clown" bit, that's not entirely true.

[Loud: (Miss Giggles) I like to torture the clowns!]

The only time he is a clown is when he portrays one in a circus.

Mr. Bump: I bet he hates being called that outside public, huh?

Miss Giggles: Yeah, but ever since that surgery that accidentally caused his voice box to stop working, he can't actually speak without sounding like a circus horn.

[Harvey: That was the just the censor blocking him.]

Mr. Bump: Now I understand...sorry to hear that.

Miss Giggles: He-he-he. But he's still funny in his own way.

Later, they arrived to where the Kouja no Senshi HQ was.

[Both: McDonald's!]

Miss Giggles: ...and when Mr. Happy tried to give me a giggle, I started giggling again. Crazy, huh?

Mr. Bump: (dryly) Yeah...well, here's the HQ. I won't come out for the rest of today. See ya later.

[Harvey: (Mr. Bumpy) Gotta lock the doors!]

With that, he dashed inside, with Miss Giggles waving. Inside, the others were watching a violent funny valentine short before noticing the character having a heart attack with the others laughing.

Digit: Ha-ha-ha! Oh, I love the violence.

[Loud: (Digit) People dying in Titanic. That's great.]

Then, the TV screen showed Mr. Scatterbrain.

Mr. Scatterbrain: Hello, kiddies!

Mr. Rude: How he got his own show without TSTV, I do not wanna know!

[All: (singing) We got it all, we got it all, on UHF!]

Miss Naughty: Mr. Scatterbrain did enter a contest.

Mr. Rude: I should've won!

Mr. Scatterbrain: Don't forget to watch the Tokyo Animal Anniversary Show, featuring clips of me with my own good friends of Dillydale.

[Loud: Who don't live in Japan!]

Then, it showed a clip with Mr. Scatterbrain and Mr. Tickle milking a cow with Miss Chatterbox and Mr. Grumpy, shocked, watching.

[Harvey: Man, those guys are milk...]
[Loud: Hey, hey! Bad pun!]
[Harvey: Right, sorry.]

Mr. Scatterbrain: (singing) You wanna get that milk

Mr. Tickle: (singing) You gotta tickle it out

Mr. Scatterbrain & Miss Chatterbox: (singing) You wanna get that milk

Mr. Tickle: (singing) You gotta tickle it out.

[Loud: (singing) You wanna annoy the hell out of us.]
[Harvey: (singing) You gotta tickle it out!]

Tai: I'd do anything to go to that show!

Jun: I'd sell my brother, Davis!

Davis: Hey!

Jun: You'll do as you're told!

[Harvey: (Jun) Sell yourself right now, asshole!]

Later, Miss Helpful was listening to Mr. Bump.

Mr. Bump: Miss Giggles thinks I like her, but I only gave her a valentine because I felt sorry for her like Miss Whoops did.

Strong Bad, whom was getting a Cold One, smirked.

Strong Bad: Aw, sweet pity.

[Both: Not!]

Where would my love life have been without it?

He drank his beer while Mr. Bump looked at the helpful girl.

Mr. Bump: What do you say to a girl to let her know you're not interested?

[Loud: (Strong Bad) You're a whore!]

Miss Helpful: Well, when I-

Strong Bad: Let me handle this, sweet cheeks. I've heard 'em all. "I like you as a friend." "I think we should see other people." "I don't speak English."

[Harvey: (Mr. Bump) I'm sorry, you say something?]

Mr. Bump: I get the idea.

Strong Bad: "I'm married to the sea." "I don't wanna kill you, but I will."

Miss Helpful: Strong Bad! Anyway, Mr. Bump, I tell this girl that you're very flattered, but you're just not ready for this kind of thing.

[Loud: Oh, I am. (Pause) My girl is just out of it right now.]
[Harvey: Listen, I got an idea on how we can get her up sooner.]
[Loud: (hopeful) Really? How?]
[Harvey: Right after we leave.]

Mr. Bump: (smiles) Thanks, Miss Helpful.

Strong Bad: And if that doesn't work, six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

[Harvey: So is Freeman, but he won't admit to anything.]

Later, at an ice cream parlor, Mr. Bump looked seriously to Miss Giggles.

Mr. Bump: Miss Giggles, I think you're nice, despite your constant giggling, but I'm just not ready for this kind of relationship. Besides, I have Miss Calamity and Miss Daredevil behind my back.

[Loud: Ready to kill ya.]

You understand, right?

Miss Giggles: (giggles) Of course I understand. He-he-he-he.

Mr. Bump: Good.

Then, he left with Miss Giggles looking seriously.

[Loud: WHY SO SERIOUSLY?!]

At a living room, Miss Giggles looked seriously to where Mr. Mischief was cracking nuts.

Miss Giggles: Mr. Mischief, how do you get someone to like you?

Mr. Mischief: Miss Giggles, whether you want to win a boy or crack a nut,

[Harvey: Hit them in the yahoos!]

the key is persistence. Keep at it and never lose your cool.

Then, when he saw a nut not cracking when he used his hammer, the man frowned before using a knife, stabbing and cracking at it before turning to the other nuts.

Mr. Mischief: Let that be a lesson to the rest of you nuts!

[Loud: NEVER PISS HIM OFF.]

Miss Giggles: He-he-he. Okay, Mr. Mischief. I'll be persistence. Is that how my mom and dad got me?

Mr. Mischief: Well, Miss Giggles, never underestimate the appeal of a man who can do tricks. At least your mom and dad are lucky.

He leaned back with his feet on the table, then ate a non-shelled nut.

[Loud: Come on, Harv. Let's go.]
[The duo got up and left the theater.]

Mr. Mischief: Oh yeah.

(End of Act 1)

(We go through the door sequence once before returning to the main room where the unconscious ones are.)

Loud: Come on, Harv, you promised.

Harvey: Okay, okay! It's like. We're gonna electric shock them.

Loud: Shock? As in shock them awake? How?

Harvey: Well, you do something you aren't supposed to do, and then I shocked ya. Chris...kinda put that in me. Don't ask.

Loud: How will that wake them up?

Harvey: You hold onto something you want to wake up and we'll go from there.

(Loud pauses and holds Charity)

Loud: Like this?

Harvey: Yep! Now do something you aren't supposed to do like use sharp objects, use fire, use...

(Loud quickly holds up a flaming knife)

Loud: LIKE THIS?!

(Harvey screams as Loud got shocked. It also shocked Charity who wakes up as a result)

Chairty: AHHHH! I'm up, I'm up! (Confused) Loud? What...

Loud: (grins) Great! She's up!

Harvey: Good job!

Loud: Now we gotta wake Pule and Toast up.

Harvey: Yeah, one thing. It only works once for a per. In other words, once I shocked ya to help someone up, it won't work again. I gotta do the same thing for Charity.

Charity: (confused) Same what? What the hell is going on?

(The commercial sign flashes)

Loud: (to camera) We're going to talk to Charity about this. We'll be right back.

(Commercial)
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Comments2
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Greenrob's avatar
well done with this